What’s Better than Small Talk?

Guest Post by Judy Douglass

The introvert in me resists social settings filled with strangers I must talk to. But that is a common component of my job: meeting, greeting, welcoming new people. Casual conversation at a reception or over dinner. Exactly the kind of interaction I don’t prefer.

But my goal is to make these people feel comfortable, to get to know them and introduce them to our ministry.  To begin to build a relationship—with me and with our organization.

I’m a storyteller by nature, so I could entertain and inform them for some time.  Some of that is appropriate and helpful, but then I don’t get to know them and they don’t feel valued.

So what do you talk about past weather and family?  How do you pursue meaningful conversation?

The answer, of course, is to ask the right questions.  I go into such gatherings with several in mind:  Inquiries that draw them out, elicit more than yes or no answers, evoke authentic responses.

Here is my favorite question:  How has God surprised you lately?

If they need a little more guidance, I might say:  What has He taught you through some recent event—it can be negative or positive?  What have you learned about God, or yourself, or your purpose as He has intersected your life?

I have been amazed at the stories I have heard:  A struggle with a wayward child, the blessing of a rich relationship, a character flaw revealed and transformed, God’s willingness to use a weak vessel in powerful ministry, grace and strength through a debilitating illness, peace in the loss of a loved one….

This question has never failed to draw people into deeper revelation of their lives.  And almost always they return the ask, and I can share a recent story of discovery or growth.

I have loved our time together, and the introvert in me has not been stressed.  A relationship has begun—and has even occasionally led to friendship.

So, how has God surprised you lately?

Note from Bob:  If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing the challenges of having a prodigal child you will want to benefit personally from (or buy and give them) Judy’s newest book “When You Love a Prodigal: 90 Days of Grace for the Wilderness”  Click “HERE” to purchase.

 

Judy Douglass

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Judy Douglass is a writer, speaker and encourager.  She partners with her husband, Steve, to lead Cru Global.  A former magazine editor and author of five books, Judy travels the globe to love and encourage staff to believe God for the more He wants to do in and through them.  She writes at JudyDouglass.com  and tweets @Jeedoo417.

MORE RECENT POSTS

Antidote to Stress and Anxiety

Guest Post by Roy Peterson The pressure of leadership in the business and ministry world has taken its toll...

7 QUESTIONS YOU CAN USE TO HELP ANYONE DEVELOP, EVEN THE BOSS

Guest Post by Dan Rockwell Leadership is more than getting things done. Leaders bring out the best in people....

Where Were You and What Were You Doing When You Heard the News 22 Years Ago Today

Today is a Day of Remembrance!  22 years ago today, America was attacked. I am curious, if you were then...

Is Your Message Good Enough?

Guest Post by Dr. Ron Harris Note from Bob:  You can either view Dr. Ron Harris sharing his “Guest...

How to Ask Questions That Generate Possibilities

Guest Post by Keith Webb Originally published at keithwebb.com  Questions are not all equal. Some questions...

Harvard Research: Effective Leaders Use These 3 Words to Improve Performance, Teamwork, and Buy-In

Guest Post by Jeff Haden In one study, simply adding one of the three words to a sentence increased...

30 Engaging Questions to Ask Your Senior Leaders

Guest Post by Benjamin Wann Originally Posted @ BenjaminWann.com In the entire stretch of your professional...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.