12 Questions to Ask Your Kids Every Year

Guest Post by Andrew Linder

My wife and I recently sat down with each of our children and asked them to finish this sentence…  “You feel most loved by me when _________________________.”

Here were their responses (in their own words):  I feel most loved by you when…

  • You notice when I do things right.
  • We spend time together by ourselves.
  • You ‘step up’ and do things with me that no one else wants to do with me.
  • You play baseball with me in the backyard.

I’d have to say, those were some pretty simple, yet really good responses that helped my wife and I to be reminded of the importance of making sure we are speaking our child’s love language in the way that they understand it best.

We asked them to complete that sentence as a part of 12 questions that we asked them as we enter into a new year.  I was blessed, surprised, humored, as well as pleased by some of their responses to those questions.

Today, I’m making those questions available to you and challenging you to make some time before the new year to sit down with each of your children and ask them these same 12 questions (or modify them to your liking if you want).

Have a pen handy and take some notes, and then make sure to discuss your child’s responses with your spouse (or ask them the questions together as a couple).  I guarantee you that if you’ll do this, you’re going to learn some important things about your child that will help you be a better parent for them in the coming year.

Taking time to listen to the heart of your child is one of the best ways you can gift yourself to them during this holiday season.

Have fun, and remember… you only get one chance to get this parenting thing right.  So make the most of it!

12 question for kids ages 10+:

  1. What do you feel has been one of your greatest accomplishments in the last year?
  2. What has been one of your greatest struggles this past year?
  3. Has anything happened in your life in the last year that I don’t know about, but that you think I should know about?
  4. If you could change one thing about the last year, what would it be?
  5. If you could have one thing different in our family, what would it be?
  6. How are things between you and God? (Bible reading, prayer, and your personal walk with the Lord)
  7. What is one area that you feel God is working in your life about the most right now?… Is there anything specific that I can pray for you about?
  8. If you were the parent, and I were your child, what would you do differently? Or… What is one thing I do as a parent that bothers you most?
  9. What is your #1 desire or dream that you would like to see become a reality in the coming year? Or… What is something that you really want to pursue more?
  10. What can I do to help you reach that goal?
  11. What is one specific thing/event/adventure that you would like for us to do together in the coming year?
  12. Is there Anything (nothing is off limits) that you would like to tell me, talk about with me, or ask me about? You feel most loved by me when _________________________

6 questions for kids ages 9 & below:

  1. What was your favorite part/memory from the last year?
  2. What was your worst part/memory from the last year?
  3. Do you feel close to God, and that God is close to you?… How?… When?
  4. If you were my parent, and I were your child, what would you do differently? Or… If you could have one thing different in our family, what would it be?
  5. What is something you’d like for us to do together (or do more of together) in the coming year?
  6. Is there Anything (nothing is off limits) that you would like to ask me or talk to me about? Finish the sentence… You feel most loved by me when _________________________

Click HERE for your PDF of all the Questions Above!

Andrew Linder


Andrew Linder has invested his life into full-time children’s and family ministry since 2001. He’s passionate about helping kids and their families. He loves teaching kids the Bible, running, wrestling with his boys, and anything bacon.  You can connect with Andrew on his blog: GodlyParent.com


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