Guest Post by Marc Rasmussen
Proverbs 18:21 says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” The tongue can be used as a weapon to harm and destroy or as a tool to build up and heal.
Like the tongue, these questions are meant to heal, break strongholds, provide a better way and literally change lives.
These questions were created as I was mentoring a few guys from a men’s bible study group and discussing the areas in their lives that they were struggling with. I was looking for a consistent way to help them become more balanced in specific areas of their lives.
I would ask them questions like “What are you struggling with?”. I would then take notes and we would agree on a few positive things that they could do for the next time we would meet. There was some progress but it seemed to lack the strong focus needed to really see some progress. It’s like we had to revisit the same problem and question over and over again. I needed to add a few more leading questions.
Then one night I woke up at 4:06 in the morning with an image in my head of a balance beam with a set of numbers, on the right side that said “too much” and a set of numbers on the left side that said “too little”.
I stumbled around for a pen and paper and drew it out as best as I could. I knew this was more than just a foggy dream. It felt important and vital that I write it down for some bigger purpose.
QUESTION 1 – What area are you unbalanced?
QUESTION 2 – How severe is that unbalance?
QUESTION 3 – Why do you have that unbalance?
QUESTION 4 – Where does that belief come from?
QUESTION 5 – What is one small step you can take to get more balanced?
QUESTION 6 – When will you do this?
QUESTION 7 – What barriers are preventing this?
I shared it with each of the guys that I was mentoring and immediately noticed that the guys were ultra focused and locked in as we went through the worksheets.
Some of the guys got balanced quicker and some took a little longer but all progressed forward at some level.
I shared the balance tool with some other mentors, life coaches and licensed counselors and asked them to test it out. The feedback came back quickly from them all with a surprisingly great response.
Most of them said that they’ve never seen anything like this. One of them commented, “It’s so simple, but has the powerful ability to reveal areas of unbalance and get people unstuck!”
They also recognized that their clients had more focus and were able to dig deeper with more clarity and specific action steps. It also allowed the coaches and counselors to have a quick review from the previous session so that they did not have to go dig through a bunch of notes of their own.
The power of questions and structure together create a visual, a point of focus and a process.
Instead of telling them what they needed to do to change their lives, we simply asked them questions so that they could see for themselves, where they needed balance and what they could do about it and further yet, where those beliefs came from so that they could deal with the root issues. We guide with questions.
My hope is that you are encouraged by the power of questions and will now be able to create questions with purpose and communicate in a new and effective way.
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