If “YES” then this post is for you!

If “NO” then please quickly forward to all your friends who do and move on to something else!

If you do have a hard time saying “No” may I ask you a couple of questions:

  • When you are asked to do something for someone do you almost always instantly say “Yes?”
  • And then within minutes (sometime seconds) do you ask yourself “Why did I commit to that when I am already way overloaded?”

If you almost always say “Yes” it is most likely that you have developed a “Knee-Jerk” response of saying “Yes” whenever asked to do something!

Truth is – it would be almost impossible for you to instantly change your “Knee-Jerk” responses from “Yes” to “No.”

So would you like a couple of questions that you can begin to immediately use that will allow you to become more thoughtful at when to say “Yes” or when to say “No?”

  • Can you please tell me more?  Sometimes just hearing more of the details of the request will give you more time to consider and if necessary to craft a very diplomatic “No.”
  • Can you please give me a day (a few minutes/an hour/a week) to give your request the careful consideration it deserves?

Observation:  Neither of the two questions above require you to say “No.”  And in fact a day later you can still say “YES!” to any request you want to help with.

The value of the two questions is that they both buy you time to make a wiser decision and then when necessary to craft a thoughtful “No” response!  For example:  “I am honored that you thought of me. If I had the time this is something I would enjoy doing and especially for you. However as I have given careful consideration to all of the things already on my plate I must regretfully decline.”   (You get the idea)

Bobb and Bob RMy life-long mentor Bobb Biehl says “Wisdom is placing Process between Opportunity and Decision.”

For example:

Unwise Person:

Opportunity:  Do you want to buy my car?

Decision:  YES!

Wise Person:

Opportunity:  Do you want to buy my car?

Process:  

What kind of car is it?

How many miles does it have?

Has it ever been in an accident?

Is there anything wrong with it?

Why do you want to sell it?

How much are you asking?

Decision:  Thanks for the opportunity – but for now I will need to pass!

So next time you are asked to do something – can you ask:

  • Can you please tell me more?
  • Can you please give me a day to give your request the careful consideration it deserves?

If “YES!” you are well on your way to becoming a Wiser Person!

 

 

 

MORE RECENT POSTS

Is Change Your Destination? Drop 5 Question Pins

Guest Post by Tara Martin Lately, I’ve found myself challenging many current beliefs and educational...

The value of letting go of control

Excerpted from the 3rd Chapter of the Just Released “Musings on Leadership – Life Lessons to Help...

THREE UNEXPECTED REASONS WHY PEOPLE DON’T ASK QUESTIONS

Guest Post by Michael Bungay Stanier A few months back, an article in HBR proclaimed the power of...

How Do You Respond?

Excerpted from “Chapter 8” of “Now That’s A Great Question.” Scenario: One of...

The 21 Most Important Questions of Your Life

Guest Post by Darius Foroux One of the most important lessons I’ve learned from reading books,...

4 Questions Under 4 Words Each to Spark Engagement

Guest Post by Chad Littlefield Recently, I gave an interactive keynote in Cartagena, Colombia for the Global...

Would You Rather Hear “No” Or Wonder “What If”?

Guest Post by Mark J. Carter Yesterday I sent out an email asking a question – then soon after sending...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.