The Right Questions: An Invitation to the Destination of Your Dreams

Guest Post By Kelley Kosow

We all have heard the famous quote attributed to Albert Einstein that reads,

         “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

In her almost 20 years leading transformational workshops and supporting thousands of people to reinvent their lives and manifest their deepest desires, it became abundantly clear to New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford that, “Since our daily choices are what determine whether we will wind up fulfilled or frustrated, unless we make new choices, we cannot expect to create different outcomes.” This realization, as well as her desire to provide people with the inspiration, awareness, and tools to make life-changing choices, led her to write the book The Right Questions.

The Right Questions is based on the premise that your life today reflects the choices you made in the past and your future will reflect the choices you make today, and if you ask yourself the right questions you are more apt to make higher choices and consciously create a life that is in alignment to your greatest goals and dreams. Whatever you desire – whether it’s to feel great in your body, find more fulfillment in your work, rekindle the fire in your marriage or spend quality time with your children – using The Right Questions will help you get there.

As Debbie so eloquently states, “You don’t arrive at the destination of your dreams because of that one big choice. It happens as a result of the small choices you make all day long. The Right Questions give you the power to make the higher choice for yourself at every moment of your life. If that’s not what you’re after – if you want to indulge in ‘poor me,’ if you’re committed to being a victim and not going for all that you desire, then don’t use these questions. But if you are committed to being the responsible creator of your reality, to being the best ‘you’ that you can be, and to having your life make a difference, these questions will show you the way.”

For those of you who have yet to buy the book, the ten questions deemed by Debbie as “the questions that will show you the way” are:

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?

These Right Questions will wake you up to the consequences of your choices and motivate you to take the higher road. It is only by questioning your automatic responses that you will break through the trance of denial and change course. Ultimately you are the only one who can change the direction of your life. No one can do it for you. People can tell you again and again that you are headed down the wrong path but until you see it for yourself, until you get tired of going around in circles, nothing will change.

No one can choose the direction of your life – no one can make you take a particular path – but you. You get to decide: the path to nowhere or the path to an extraordinary life and the destination of your dreams.

And if you choose to go for extraordinary, to live a life beyond your wildest imagination, The Right Questions are simple tools that will make a tremendous impact!

Transformational Action Steps

1. Keep the 10 Right Questions in a place where you can see them.

2. Pick one question per week to work with: put is as your screensaver, record it as a voice note, put it on a post-it in your car or on your bathroom mirror and remind yourself to use it as much as possible when you are faced with a choice or in a place of judgment.

3. Go deeper into the discussion of these Right Questions by joining us at The Ford Institute for our free group coaching series, Shadow Talk, the first Wednesday of each month. If you cannot be there live, you will receive the call recording to listen to at your convenience. You can sign up here: TheFordInstitute.com/ShadowTalk

For more information on The Ford Institute’s programs, visit TheFordInstitute.com or call 800-780-9198, ext. 703.

Note from Bob:  Today’s post reminds me of a great quote from Bono:  “We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong.”

Kelley Kosow joined The Ford Institute faculty in 2007. Lawyer turned Certified Master Integrative Coach Kelley Kosow was hand-picked and personally trained by Debbie Ford to lead The Ford Institute and continue the legacy of this life-changing work. Truly gifted in supporting people to realize their limiting patterns, self-sabotaging behaviors and shift their lives and relationships, Kelley has been a staff member at The Ford Institute since 2008. She is a leader and teacher of emotional education, shadow work, personal mastery and guides participants to transform their own lives or to become certified coaches and transform the lives of others. She founded the company, Go Goddess! Inc., which created games, books and seminars to empower, inspire, and entertain women and girls. Featured in Oprah Magazine as someone who could “Dream it, Do it,” as well as In Style, People, Working Mother, Latina, NY Times, LA Times, Kelley has also appeared on “The Balancing Act” and Better.tv. Kelley received her bachelor’s degree from Brown University and her Juris Doctor degree from the University Of Miami School Of Law.