The Trait that All Good Bosses Share

19 11 2012

Guest Post by Maren Kasselik

Eating crow could help you climb the corporate ladder: Humble leaders are more effective and better liked by coworkers, finds a study to be published in the Academy of Management Journal.

Humility in the workplace is defined by three traits:

  1. The ability to admit your mistakes
  2. The ability to spotlight your subordinates’ strengths
  3. The ability to be teachable or accept correction

The study also found humility was contagious; humble leaders’ subordinates were more willing to admit their own mistakes, more receptive to feedback, and more engaged with their work.

“You need to open up and admit what you don’t know. You need to recognize when your followers do something better than you and when they’re more talented than you—and celebrate it,” says study coauthor David Hekman, Ph.D., an assistant professor of management at the Lubar School of Business at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Otherwise, your coworkers will start doing the bare minimum to complete their jobs without being yelled at, Hekman warns.

Humility can also help you be less stressed on the job. “Leaders who are constantly trying to maintain a strong front and macho personality are often psychologically exhausted, which leads to leader burnout,” says study author Bradley Owens, Ph.D., an assistant professor of management at the State University of New York at Buffalo. “In contrast, the humble leaders in our study felt psychologically relieved and liberated,” he told Men’s Health.

But be wary: You can’t fake humility. In the study, flattery and empty praises were pinpointed as dishonest and met with contempt and suspicion.

To act like a humble leader, ask the right types of questions from your team, Hekman says.

Humble leaders ask open-ended questions that make coworkers feel valued:

  • Do you have any ideas for what our strategy should be?
  • Any ideas on how to stop this competitor?
  • Any ideas why this customer is using our services less and less?

Avoid questions that blame a person:

  • Where’s the report I asked for?
  • Why didn’t you include the other analysis in your report?
  • What were you thinking?

Maren Kasselik  Freelance journalist, NU grad and sports junkie moonlighting as a medical assistant.  You can find Maren in NorCal or chasing pow. She describes herself as, “Just a stranger trying to make Him known.”  You can follow Maren on Twitter at:  @marenismaren

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Ask, Don’t Tell

12 11 2012

Nine Ways Power Questions Help Us Build Better Business Relationships

Guest Post by: Andrew Sobel

Just a few years ago, globalization was in full swing, and the world seemed to be bursting with an infinite supply of business. All this bounty lulled us into taking our customers for granted—until the economy tanked and shattered the illusion of endless prosperity. Suddenly, the old-fashioned “trusted relationship” started to look good again.

In this post-Madoff era of unpredictability and suspicion, people are looking for deeper, more intimate, and more engaged relationships—the kind that reduce risk. This is true of customers but also vendors, employees, and other business partners. The days of getting in, making money, and moving on to the next guy are over. When times are tough and the future is uncertain, people want to put down roots and partner with people they truly like and trust.

Bottom line: In today’s markets, the most valuable commodity is the ability to connect with others and rapidly build trust. And that begins by asking the right questions. Asking questions and letting people come up with their own answers is far more effective than spouting facts or trying to talk someone into something. Telling creates resistance. Asking creates relationships.

Here are nine ways questions can transform professional and personal relationships:

1. Questions turn one-dimensional, arms-length business relationships into personal relationships that endure for years. When a relationship is all business and there is no real personal connection, it lacks heart and soul. And therefore you are a commodity—a kind of fungible expert-for-hire. A client—or your boss—can trade you out for a new model with no remorse or emotion. But when you’ve connected personally, the situation is transformed because clients stick with people they like. Bosses hold on to team members they feel passionately about. Your expertise and competence get you in the door, but it’s the personal connection that then builds deep loyalty.

2. They make the conversation about the other person—not about them. Most of us don’t care what other people think—we want to know first if they care about us. The need to be heard is one of the most powerful motivating forces in human nature. That’s why one important power question is, “What do you think?” Another is, “Can you tell me more?”  When you make a conversation all about you, others may think you are clever, but you will not build their trust. You will not learn about them. You will squander the opportunity to build the foundations for a rich, long-term relationship.

3. They cut through the “blah, blah, blah” and create more authentic conversations. No doubt you can relate to this scenario. A person says, “I want to bounce something off you.” Then, he proceeds to spend ten minutes telling you every detail of a very convoluted situation he is enmeshed in. You do yourself and the other person a favor by getting him to focus on the true kernel of his issue. Simply ask: “What is your question?”

4. They help people clarify their thinking. Instead of saying, “We need to improve our customer service!” I suggest asking: “How would you assess our customer service levels today?” Or, “How is our service impacting our customer retention?” If someone at work says, “We need more innovation,” ask, “Can you say more about what you mean by ‘innovation’? How would we know if we had more of it?” Or if there is a call for more teamwork, ask, “What do you mean when you say ‘teamwork’?”

5. They help you zero in on what matters most to the other person. The next time you’re talking to someone and realize you’ve “lost” her, ask this question: “What is the most important thing we should be discussing today?” In business it’s critical to be seen as advancing the other person’s agenda of essential priorities and goals. When time is spent together on issues that are truly important to both parties, the relationship deepens and grows.

6. They help others tap into their essential passion for their work. One of the highest-impact power questions you can ask is, “Why do you do what you do?” You may have to ask it several times to get the other person to really open up about what motivates him or her. When they seriously consider and answer this question, the room will light up with passion. Dull meetings will transform into sessions that pop with energy and generate ideas that vault over bureaucratic hurdles and create real impact.

7. They inspire people to work at a higher level. The late Steve Jobs was notorious for pushing employees. He asked people constantly, “Is this the best you can do?” It’s a question that infused Apple’s corporate culture from the beginning. It’s one that, albeit indirectly, helped revolutionize the desktop computing, music, and cellular phone industries. And it’s one that you can use too—sparingly and carefully—when you need someone to stretch their limits and do their very best work.

8. They can save you from making a fool of yourself. Before responding to a request or answering someone’s question to you, it’s often wise to get more information about what the other person really wants. When a potential employer says, “Tell me about yourself,” you can bore them to tears by rambling on and on about your life—or you can respond by asking, “What would you like to know about me?” When a prospect asks, “Can you tell me about your firm?” the same dynamic applies. Most people go on and on about their company, but the client is usually interested in one particular aspect of your business. Ever seen someone answer the wrong question? It’s painful to watch. Asking a clarifying question can save you huge embarrassment.

9. They can salvage a disastrous conversation. My coauthor, Jerry Panas, recalls the time he asked a man for a million-dollar donation to his alma mater’s College of Engineering. Though he knew better, the author failed to gain rapport and explore the potential donor’s true motivations before jumping in with the big request. When the man rebuked Jerry for his presumptuousness, he realized he had made a serious error. He apologized, left the room, and 20 seconds later knocked on the door and asked the power question, “Do you mind if we start over?”  Start over they did, and Panas ultimately discovered that the donor might indeed be interested in making a gift—but to the university’s theater program, not its engineering program!

Things like this happen all the time in business—and at home. Interactions get off on the wrong foot, and someone gets angry or offended or just shuts down. But people are forgiving. Asking, “Do you mind if we start over?” will disarm the other person and will ease the way to a new beginning.

One of the greatest benefits of becoming a master questioner is that it takes a lot of pressure off us. It’s a huge relief to know that you don’t have to be quick, clever, or witty—that you don’t have to have all the answers.

All business interactions are human interactions. Moreover, part of being human is acknowledging that you don’t know everything about everything—and that you certainly don’t know everything about the other person and his or her needs. Questions help you understand these things more deeply.

The right questions unleash a cascade of innermost feelings and vibrant conversations. They help you bypass what’s irrelevant and get straight to what’s truly meaningful. They make people like you, trust you, and want to work with you—and once you’ve achieved that, the battle is already won.

Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships and the author of numerous books.

To connect with Andrew, visit andrewsobel.com

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Why Don’t We Ask More Questions?

7 11 2012

 Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter 10 of So, What’s Your Point?

While the question is the single most powerful communication tool we have, we rarely use it. We are too busy making statements to prove that we are experts rather than asking questions.

Have you ever watched really effective executives? Instead of saying, “George, I need to talk to you in my office right away!” they phrase the request, “George, there are some things we need to discuss. When you have a chance would you drop by my office?”

If you’re George, you can translate “when you have a chance would you drop by my office?” to mean, ‘Unless you have chains around your ankles, I want to see your elbows pumping down the hallway now!’ Isn’t it nicer, however, to be asked to “drop by”?

The phrasing can make all the difference, can’t it? For example, compare “Hand that to me!” with “Would you hand that to me?”

Do you see the difference? By switching to a question, the speaker may use a different tone of voice, the listener perceives a different tone, and, most probably, the response or reaction is positive rather than negative or defensive.

Let’s consider an issue with which managers are often faced —discussing job performance with subordinates. The following is an example of the communication between me, the manager, and Jane, the employee, who I have summoned to my office. “Come in, Jane. Have a seat. I want to speak with you for a few moments, because we are very concerned about your performance. I understand that you have done poorly on several past assignments and that you have not been keeping regular hours. You have been reporting to work late as well as sometimes taking up to three hours for your lunch break. Your poor performance coupled with irregular work hours has really become a serious problem.”

Does this sound like a diplomatic enough start? Upon initial consideration, it may seem okay. But what if Jane responds, “I’m really sorry I have been gone so much. My husband is terminally ill with cancer and that’s why I’ve taken so much time off. I want to be with him as much as I can.” If you’re the manager, how would you feel? Do you comprehend the jeopardy you put yourself in when you make statements rather than ask questions?

In the previous example, did I perceive that I was dealing with a win-win or win-lose situation. Did my approach allow for it to be anything but win-lose or even lose-lose? Wouldn’t it have been better to start the conversation with “How are things going?” “How are things at work?” “How are things at home?” “How do you feel about your performance on your last few assignments?” This would allow me to find out valuable information before committing myself.

Dr. James Wetherbe & Dr. Bond Wetherbe

James Wetherbe is internationally known as a dynamic and entertaining speaker who is especially appreciated for his ability to explain complex topics in straight-forward, practical terms that can be understood and applied by business leaders. Author of over 30 books, Jim is ranked among the top dozen consultants on the management of information technology and among the 20 most influential researchers in his field.

Bond Wetherbe is a business outcomes oriented educator, consultant, entrepreneur, leader and author with a proven record of results and accomplishments. Experience includes faculty positions at Texas Tech University, The University of Houston, and Loyola University New Orleans, high-tech management positions in both industry and government, principal positions with consulting firms, and co-founder of Micro Solutions, Mead Publishing, and The Wetherbe Group.

You can purchase So, What’s Your Point? at:  www.meadpublications.com

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Miss Pray

5 11 2012

Excerpted with the permission of the author of Love Works – Seven Timeless Principles for Effective Leaders from Chapter 5.2

Miss Pray was my seventh-grade teacher at Woodrow Junior High School in Battle Creek, Michigan. She was in her seventies back then but sharp as a spear. Her thick white hair was always perfectly groomed, and her skin was taut across her strong cheekbones. She was intense, a disciplinarian who didn’t choose to smile much. And I loved her—she was a wonderful instructor.

One day Mom and I attended my parent-teacher conference together with Miss Pray. It wasn’t normal for the student to attend, but Miss Pray had requested my presence. I assumed it was going to be a great meeting. Perhaps she would bestow some kind of honor on me; after all, I had straight A’s and perfect attendance.

Miss Pray began the meeting by speaking directly to my mother and explaining that I was an excellent student. She said I grasped concepts quickly and was able to apply them in various situations. She appreciated my focus, attendance, and behavior while she was teaching. Things were going just as I’d expected.

Suddenly my eyes widened when she said, “Mrs. Manby, I wanted Joel to be here so we could discuss an issue together. I would like to speak to him directly, but I wanted you here so you could hear my words and help Joel become a better person.”

Forty years later, thinking about that conversation still opens a pit in my stomach. It came as a complete shock, and I had no clue what she was about to say. Miss Pray looked directly at me. “Joel, you are a gifted leader. I have seen many people come through these halls, and you are at the very top in your ability to gain people’s trust, take control of a situation, rally those around you, and get things done.”

I still wondered where all this was headed. So far it sounded pretty good, but I knew more was coming. Miss Pray continued, “However, you are a very poor listener. I have watched you take over a class project group when you were not even assigned to be the leader. Then, what’s worse, you didn’t listen to others in the group when they tried to speak. You interrupted them and often cut them off.”

She wasn’t finished. “I have also watched you on the kick-ball field during intramurals. You weren’t the captain, but you took over and wouldn’t listen to people—you just directed them where to go. Your friend Jeff was very upset because you wouldn’t listen to his thoughts about who should play where.”

As the truth of her words began to sink in, she made her closing statement. “Joel, when you don’t listen to others, it sends them a very negative and unflattering message. You are telling them they are not important. You are telling them you are better than they are. You have the natural ability to be a great leader, but you are going to have to fix your listening skills or you will be limited in how far you can go.”

I sat there in silence, a bit stunned. I felt horrible, and deep down I knew her assessment was accurate. Mom thanked Miss Pray for her care and concern, and we left. I never forgot that day. Miss Pray cared enough to call me out, and that made me a better leader going forward. I was failing to trust my classmates and friends, and that failure would have crippled my ability to lead.

Trust Me Miss Pray was right. When we interrupt or respond without taking account of what others have said, we send several messages—none of them good:

• My idea is greater than your idea, so I don’t have to listen.
• Interrupting you is okay because your response isn’t that important.
• I’m not listening to you because I’m already preparing my response.

The truth is this: interrupting is a sign of distrust.

That’s a strong statement, but it’s undeniable. Hard-driving leaders who often interrupt will always justify their behavior. “I already know where that person’s headed, and I want to save time.” Or, “I’m just efficient and don’t have time to waste.” If interruption is seen as simply being rude, many leaders don’t think it needs to be changed—a little rudeness in an organization isn’t the end of the world. However, when leaders understand that interrupting others shows a lack of trust, the notion of rudeness gains significance.

Would your employees or coworkers rate you as a good listener or a poor listener? Would they say you listen without interrupting? Would they say you hear them? If you struggle with listening well, as I did early in my life and career, these simple steps can help:

1. Don’t say, “I understand how you feel, but …” Most people won’t feel that you understand, especially if you discount their thinking and immediately move in a different direction.
2. Instead, summarize what you’ve heard. If you really trust them, they will agree with your summary and feel as if their idea has been given a fair hearing.
3. If you go a different direction, articulate why. Always try to explain your logic when differing with some of your team. They may not agree, and that’s okay, but you’ll all know what everyone is thinking.

Listening well is critical because it demonstrates trust and builds a team’s sense of camaraderie and cohesion. Poor listening is more than forgivable rudeness; it’s a breach of trust and not a quality of leading with love.

Joel Manby President and CEO of Herschend Family Entertainment (HFE) At HFE, the largest family-owned theme park corporation in the U.S., Manby and his team have proven you can get financial results and lead with love, generating a 14% annual return to shareholders while also helping thousands of employees in financial need via the company’s Share It Forward Foundation. 100% of the royalties from the sale of Love Works go to this foundation.

You can find out more about Joel and Love Works at: joelmanby.com

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Would You Like to Know How the Walt Disney World Textile Services Lowered Their Annual Employee Turnover Rate from 85% to less than 10%?

25 10 2012

Last week we took took a group of our “Emerging Leaders” on the Business Behind The Magic Tour at Walt Disney World.

 

Our first stop was the laundry.    I bet you are thinking, “Wow!  The Walt Disney World Laundry – How Exciting!  NOT!!!”

With future stops at Epcot Cast Services where all of the Cast Members report in for work and change into their costumes and then with a visit to the The “Utilidor” System (tunnels) underneath the Magic Kingdom, I was hoping that the stop at the laundry would be quick so we could get to the more exciting locations.  Turns out that this first stop shared the best Leadership Story of the day:

The annual employee turnover rate at the WDW Laundry services was approximately 85%.   WDW was considering outsourcing laundry to another company.  But as their leadership met they decided to try another approach. They decided to push leadership down to the Cast Members (all employees at WDW are called Cast Members).  Leaders at the WDW Laundry met with all of the Cast Members and asked them two questions:

1. What can we do to make your job easier?

2. What changes would you recommend to serve our Guests better?

They shared that it took some time before the Cast Members began to respond.  Initially Cast Members did not feel the freedom to share their thoughts – they feared that their responses would be viewed as criticism.  It took about six months of asking before the Cast Members began to engage.

But when the Cast Members began to share their ideas,  Leaders listened and changes were made.  For example, today all Cast Members can raise or lower the platform on which they are standing to an ideal working height.  Air conditioning vents are now directly overhead of their work areas.

There was also a “hook type” tool that they were using to empty the dirty laundry carts – which was tearing a lot of bed sheets.  Engineering was brought in and with the Cast Members help they re-designed this tool, saving several hundred thousand dollars a year.

They have machines that automatically fold sheets and towels.  This machine has bands that move the sheets and towels forward – but there was a problem – the bands quite often break – stopping the whole process.  One of the Cast Members who had recently left the Navy had an idea!  He had learned to tie a special knot in the Navy that he thought might be able to be used to tie together the ends of a broken band.  It worked!  Annual cost savings over $100,000!

Laundry Cast Members suggested some cross training with the Housekeeping and Restaurant Cast Members – where they got to see exactly how the room linens and restaurant linens touch all their Guests.  WDW calls this cross-utilization and is intended to have the different teams really “live” in the other teams’ job for a few days.  When  Housekeeping and Restaurant Cast Members spent a few days working in the Laundry they came back with new appreciation for their counterparts and the daily challenges they face.

The Disney leaders also shared with the laundry Cast Members how significant their contribution is to every Guest – without the laundry done well – everything at Walt Disney World would come to a complete stop.

Today Cast Members set their own Production Goals –  Turns out they set higher production goals than their leaders would and have demonstrated they are more likely to actually achieve those goals than if their leaders had.

But the really amazing part of the story is that today Annual Cast Member Turnover in the WDW laundry is less than 10%.  Cast Members get hired and stay until they retire!  And it all started when Leaders began asking the WDW Laundry Cast Members two questions!   WDW calls this “Employee Engagement.”

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You Don’t Fix a Feeling, You Hear a Feeling

22 10 2012

Husbands, do your wives ever hand you something they have clipped out of a magazine or newspaper for you to read?   Do you ever get the feeling that she is trying to share something more with you than just the information in the clipping?  

My wife just handed me a paragraph from page 36 of the Woman’s Day,  May, 2012, from an interview with Dr. Oz written by Sara Reistad-Long:

“Even so, it took hard work for the 51-year-old father of four to combine his brain smarts with,  well, his heart smarts, ‘When I started doing TV, I was a terrible communicator.  I’d talk to women who had bad things happen in their lives, and I’d just jump in with answers instead of fully listening to them first,’ he says, ‘in many ways, it was about working through a lesson my wife, Lisa, has been trying to teach me throughout our marriage:  You don’t fix a feeling, you hear a feeling.’

That’s good advice for all of us!

I will always remember the advice one of my former associates shared with me. She said, “You can never argue with a feeling!  You cannot tell someone they are not feeling what they are feeling!”  That is also good advice for all of us!

What advice can you give to all of us who are Charter Members of “Feeling Fixers Anonymous?”  Please share your wisdom with all of us with a “comment” below:

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Ask Questions

11 10 2012

 Guest Post by Paul Sloane

Children learn by asking questions. Students learn by asking questions. New recruits learn by asking questions. It is the simplest and most effective way of learning. People who think that they know it all no longer ask questions – why should they? Brilliant thinkers never stop asking questions because they know that this is the best way to gain deeper insights.

Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, said, ‘We run this company on questions, not answers.’ He knows that if you keep asking questions you can keep finding better answers.

When Greg Dyke became Director-General of the BBC in 2000 he went to every major location and assembled the staff. They came expecting a long presentation. He simply sat down with them and asked a question, ‘What is the one thing I should do to make things better for you?’ Then he listened. He followed this with another question, ‘What is the one thing I should do to make things better for our viewers and listeners.’ He knew that at that early stage he could learn more from his employees than they could from him. The workers at the BBC had many wonderful ideas that they were keen to share. The fact that the new boss took time to question and then listen earned him enormous respect.

Columbo solves his mysteries by asking many questions; as do all the great detectives – in real life as well as fiction. All the great inventors and scientists asked questions. Isaac Newton asked,’ Why does an apple fall from a tree?’ and, ‘Why does the moon not fall into the Earth?’ Charles Darwin asked, ‘Why do the Galapagos islands have so many species not found elsewhere?’ Albert Einstein asked, ‘What would the Universe look like if I rode through it on a beam of light?’ By asking these kinds of fundamental questions they were able to start the process that lead to their tremendous breakthroughs.

The great philosophers spend their whole lives asking deep questions about the meaning of life, morality, truth and so on. We do not have to be quite so contemplative but we should nonetheless ask the deep questions about the situations we face. It is the best way to get the information we need to make informed decisions.

If it is obvious that asking questions is such a powerful way of learning why do we stop asking questions? For some people the reason is that they are lazy. They assume they know all the main things they need to know and they do not bother to ask more. They cling to their beliefs and remain certain in their assumptions – yet they often end up looking foolish. Other people are afraid that by asking questions they will look weak, ignorant or unsure. They like to give the impression that they are decisive and in command of the relevant issues. They fear that asking questions might introduce uncertainty or show them in a poor light. In fact asking questions is a sign of strength and intelligence – not a sign of weakness or uncertainty. Great leaders constantly ask questions and are well aware that they do not have all the answers. Finally some people are in such a hurry to get with things that they do not stop to ask questions because it might slow them down. They risk rushing headlong into the wrong actions.

At school, at home, in business, with our friends, family, colleagues, customers or managers we can check assumptions and gain a better appreciation of the issues by first asking questions. Start with very basic, broad questions then move to more specific areas to clarify your understanding. Open questions are excellent – they give the other person or people chance to give broad answers and they open up matters. Examples of open questions are:

  • What business are we really in, what is our added value?
  • Why do you think this has happened?
  • What are all the things that might have caused this problem?
  • How can we reduce customer complaints?
  • Why do you think he feels that way?
  • What other possibilities should we consider?

As we listen carefully to the answers we formulate further questions. When someone gives an answer we can often ask, ‘Why?’ The temptation is to plunge in with our opinions, responses, conclusions or proposals. The better approach is keep asking questions to deepen our comprehension of the issues before making up our mind. Once we have mapped out the main points we can use closed questions to get specific information. Closed questions give the respondent a limited choice of responses – often just yes or no. Examples of closed questions are:

  • When did this happen?
  • Was he angry?
  • Where is the shipment right now?
  • Did you authorize the payment?
  • Would you like to go to the cinema with me on Saturday evening?

By giving the other person a limited choice of responses we get specific information and deliberately move the conversation forward in a particular direction.

Asking many questions is very effective but it can make you appear to be inquisitorial and intrusive. So it is important to ask questions in a friendly and non-threatening way. Do not ask accusing questions. ‘What do you think happened?’ will probably get a better response than, ‘Are you responsible for this disaster?’ Try to pose each question in an innocent way and ensure that your body language is relaxed and amicable. Do not jab your finger or lean forward as you as put your requests.

Try to practice asking more questions in your everyday conversations. Instead of telling someone something, ask them a question. Intelligent questions stimulate, provoke, inform and inspire. Questions help us to teach as well as to learn.

Paul Sloane is an author and public speaker on lateral thinking and innovation.  Paul’s website:  destination-innovation.com  You can follow Paul on twitter at:  @paulsloane

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Motivating Employees by Using Effective Listening Skills

26 09 2012

Guest Post by Brian Tracy


Perhaps the most powerful of all leadership techniques for motivating employees is effective listening. Learning to practice your listening skills until it becomes a habit can do more to improve your relationships at work and at home than perhaps any other single behavior.

Effective listening is essential to motivating employees. If you think about it, you always listen to someone who you value. You listen when your boss speaks to you. You listen when someone who you look up to and respect speaks, or speaks to you. The more important the other person is, the more you hang on every word, and the more influenced you are by what they say.

One of the big mistakes that managers make, because they are in a position of control and power, is that they dominate the conversation. They don’t use their listening skills. They interrupt people and complete their sentences. They ignore what people have said and rush in to make their own points. They override the arguments of others because they have the power to do it.

But every time you fail to use listening skills and withhold your close attention from another person when they are talking, you make them feel valueless and unimportant. You start to create a negative downward spiral that can lead to unhappiness and disaffection in a workplace.

Motivating Employees by Applying Listening Skills

When I hold my staff meetings, everyone on the staff is an agenda item. We go down the list and each person is invited to bring us up to date with what he or she is doing, the problems he or she is facing, and what he or she is working on for the future.

As a young manager, I used to use staff meetings as an opportunity to hold forth with my “fascinating ideas, opinions, insights and advice.” Other people seldom had a chance to speak. Eventually, people would sit quietly at the staff meetings, give a one or two word answer when they were called upon, and then leave the room quietly when the staff meeting was over.

It eventually dawned on me that I was abusing my position. Not only that, I was wasting the time of my staff and diminishing their effectiveness in their jobs. I decided to do an about turn and instead of interrupting, I would say less, use more effective listening skills, and pay much closer attention when people spoke.

Now, when someone is speaking, I put everything aside, lean forward and apply effective listening skills to the person who is speaking. I nod, smile and encourage them to continue to express themselves. I will then ask them questions to expand on what they just said. When they mention something they have done, I will always compliment them and praise them in front of the other people.

Effective listening is one of the greatest techniques for motivating employees. As a result of paying careful attention to each person, everyone is eager to get their chance to speak and share their experiences and ideas with the others. At the end of each staff meeting, everybody is happy and full of energy. They are all smiling, laughing, and talking with each other. They are all energized and eager to get back to work.

Every executive who has started using this style for motivating employees has been astonished at the improvement in motivation, morale and energy of their team members. And all it takes is a decision on your part to withhold your fascinating commentary and instead use effective listening skills.

There are four keys to effective listening. These keys have remained the same from time immemorial. No matter how many books and articles you read on effective listening, they all boil down to the big four:

Effective Listening Tip #1: Listen attentively

Listen without interruptions. Lean forward, face the person speaking directly, nod, smile and be agreeable. When you nod and smile, you encourage them to keep speaking and to expand on their remarks.

Initially, it takes tremendous discipline to use effective listening skills, without interrupting to someone who is speaking. But over time, as you notice the positive benefits of effective and attentive listening, you will practice it more and more.

Effective Listening Tip #2: Pause before replying.

Someone once said that, “Most conversation is just waiting.” In most cases, the person listening is not really listening at all. They are preparing their remarks and getting ready for what they are going to say when the other person takes a breath. They then jump in with their own comments, largely ignoring anything the other person has just said.

Instead, make it a habit to pause for three to five seconds before replying. In this three to five second pause, or longer if warranted, you get three benefits:

  1. You avoid the risk of interrupting the speaker if he or she is just reorganizing their thoughts before continuing;
  2. You show the speaker that you are carefully considering what they have just said. This conveys that you value what they have just said, and by extension, you value them, their thinking and their words;
  3. When you pause, you actually hear the other person at a deeper level. You get more of the actual message that is being sent by allowing a few seconds for the message to sink in to a deeper level of your mind.

Effective Listening Tip #3: Question for clarification

Instead of jumping in with your own ideas or opinions, pause, take a deep breath and ask a question such as “How do you mean?” or “How do you mean exactly?”
By using effective listening skills, you build trust. The better you listen to another person, the more they trust you, and the more open they are to being influenced and persuaded by you.

Effective Listening Tip #4: Feed it back in your own words

This is known as the “acid test” of listening. It is only when you can briefly summarize what the other person has just said, in your own words, and feed it back to them, that you tell the speaker that you were genuinely listening.

Most people will nod and smile, like the little dog in the back of a car, but when you thoughtfully reflect back to the other person what they have just said, and they agree, “That’s it! That’s what I meant.” You tell them that you were really listening.

You have heard of the 80/20 rule. This rule says that 20% of what you do accounts for 80% of the results of everything you do. In motivating employees and working with your team, the 20% of your behaviors that account for 80% of the impact that you make on others is simply “making others feel important.”

When you can do this with everyone in your company, you will make a quantum leap forward in becoming an outstanding manager and get increasingly better results from every person who reports to you.

I hope you enjoyed Brian’s “Guest Post” on how to use effective listening skills for motivating employees to peak performance. Do you have any tips of your own? Please share and comment below!

Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. Brian’s goal is to help people achieve their personal and business goals faster and easier than they ever imagined.

Brian Tracy has consulted for more than 1,000 companies and addressed more than 5,000,000 people in 5,000 talks and seminars throughout the US, Canada and 55 other countries worldwide. As a Keynote speaker and seminar leader, he addresses more than 250,000 people each year.  For more information on Brian Tracy programs, go to: www.briantracy.com

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Leaders: Ask Your Team This One Simple Question

17 09 2012

Guest Post by Todd Garland

( first posted at: http://venturefizz.com/blog/leaders-ask-your-team-one-simple-question )

Recently, on my way to work, I wrote our team at BuySellAds the following email:

It was a very honest, innocent, and spur of the moment thought that I had, to send the whole team this email. Turns out, it’s probably the most leadership worthy thing I’ve done all year. There are a number of ways to be a leader, and I’m sure every leader out there has read some post titled “10 things that make a leader a true leader.”

The point is, sometimes being a leader means caring. Caring about what it is that makes the team you work with feel good. Caring what it is that has them a bit frustrated and figuring it out before it stays bottled up too long. Caring for 2 seconds about something other than the company, yourself, or your investors (BSA doesn’t have any investors). Caring about any personal challenges they are going through, if they are willing to share.

I say “leader” and not CEO, because this really applies to any person who is asking a team to work hard for them.

Do the world a favor, and ask people around you what you can do to make their lives easier. (If you don’t actually care, then don’t waste your time. If you’re not going to follow through and make an effort to help them out, then don’t waste your/their time.)

But if you do care, and you are going to follow through, take a moment and ask your team a very simple question. Not for profit. Not in exchange for anything. Not because I told you to. Because you want to be a leader.

So, when are you going to send out a similar e-mail to those you have been entrusted to lead?  

Todd Garland is the founder of BuySellAds and lives in Boston with his wife and chocolate lab Rusty. For more, follow him @toddo

Will you please do me a favor – when you send all of your staff an e-mail similar to Todd’s would you please forward it to me also?  bob.tiede@ccci.org   Thank you!

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3 Tips for Better Listening—and the One Attitude that Makes all the Difference

13 09 2012

Guest Post by David Witt


Good listening skills are essential to any manager’s success—but sometimes it’s hard to find the time in today’s frantic work environment. As a result, it’s easy to fall into a habit of listening to a direct report just long enough to offer advice or solve a problem.

This might keep the line moving, but it is not going to do much in meeting a person’s need to be heard.

Could your listening skills use a brush-up?

Here’s a three-step EAR Model designed to help managers slow down and focus on what people are sharing. The magic in this process is remembering to take the time to explore the issue raised by a direct report by asking clarifying questions, then acknowledging what is being said and the emotion behind it, before going on to the third step of responding.

Explore—ask open-ended questions such as “Can you tell me more about that?” and “How do you think that will go?” and “What does that really mean?”

Acknowledge—respond with comments such as “You must be feeling …” or “So, if I’m hearing you correctly, what you’re saying is ….”

Respond—now that you have a good understanding of the direct report’s point of view, you can carefully move forward with a possible response.

Use this EAR Model to stop and take an extra minute to make sure you really understand the situation before responding.

You also need the right attitude

In addition to a good model, you also need the right attitude when it comes to listening. Otherwise, you end up going through the motions but not having anything truly penetrate the noise in your own head.

To combat that, quiet yourself and focus.

Now, listen in a special way. Listen with an expectation of learning something you didn’t know and possibly being influenced by what you find out. This is especially important if someone is sharing a new idea or feedback with you.

Remember to WAIT and ask yourself, “Why Am I Talking when I should be listening?”

Managers have to be open to being influenced and surprised by what they might hear. Sometimes it’s hard for managers to listen—especially if they have been doing the job for a long time—because they are sure that they already know what the direct report is going to say.

Remember: Listening means remaining silent. This will create a little space where you can explore and acknowledge before responding. Be sure to think about whether your thoughts are really needed, or whether a direct report just needs “air time” to process his or her thoughts. With a combination of the right attitude and the right skill set, you’ll still get to the answers, but you’ll do it in a way that allows you to make the best decisions and in a way that allows everyone to be heard.

David Witt is a business-focused writer, researcher, and speaker for The Ken Blanchard Companies.  You can follow The Ken Blanchard Companies on Twitter @KenBlanchard or @LeaderChat and also via the HowWeLead.org  and LeaderChat.org blogs.

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