Guest Post by Mark Goulston
You may have heard the saying, “When you’re in love, smoke gets in your eyes.” Well when you’re talking, smoke gets in your eyes and ears. Once you’re on a roll, it’s very easy to not notice that you’ve worn out your welcome. You may not even realize that the other person is politely trying to get a word in, or subtly signaling that they need to be elsewhere (possibly, anywhere else if you have been really boring).
There are three stages of speaking to other people. In the first stage, you’re on task, relevant and concise. But then...
Have you ever experienced “Silence” when you asked someone a question?
Might you have been uncomfortable with their silence?
So what did you do?
The average person waits only 2-3 seconds before rephrasing the question or answering the question themselves or just moving on. And strange as it may sound the average person has no idea that they do this!
How about you? Confronted with silence have you too quickly re-asked the question? Or restated the question in another way? Or maybe asked a second or even third question hoping they would...
Might this be your experience:
You have set “Goals” in the past with really “Good Intentions” to make progress on them that very week. But then other things entered your schedule and you simply did not have time to work on your “Goals” but you still had really “Good Intentions” to get to them the following week. But again things came up–and although a bit disappointed that you had made no progress you still had really “Good Intentions” to get to them the very next week. But then weeks rolled into months and...