What Are You Tolerating?

25 03 2013

Guest Post by Pam Smith   What You Tolerate

All of us put up with things that we know if we would just address them head on it would help reduce the feeling of stress and being overwhelmed.

So why do we tolerate things?  I think it’s because we believe that we don’t have the time or the energy to take care of things that we position as just annoyances because in the big scheme of things, they aren’t that big.  Actually, things that we tolerate might not be big, but they have power. We allow them to keep us from repurposing the negative energy that it takes to keep them in our life into the positive energy that can be used in pursuing our goals.  Tolerations are energy drainers and goal preventers.

  • They show up in work.  Why are you tolerating that pile of papers?
  • They show up in your home.  Why are you tolerating that leaky faucet…that squeaky door?
  • They show up in your habits. Why are you tolerating a work schedule that doesn’t include self-care?

And, here comes a biggie:  They show up in your relationships.  Why are you tolerating a relationship that pulls life from you?  Why are you tolerating the power that a person has over you when you know that there is one necessary conversation you need to initiate? Did you feel an energy drain just by reading the list? So, let me ask you:

  • What are you tolerating?
  • What would it look like if you were no longer tolerating it?
  • What is the one thing you know you need to do to remove this energy drain and when will you do it?

These are also great questions to ask your team:

  • What are they tolerating?
  • Or what are you as a team tolerating?

Pam Smith and 9 Ways _________________________________________________________________________________ Pam Smith – VP for Student Advancement, Biblical Seminary www.biblical.edu Author of: Nine Ways Woman Sabotage Their Careers

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Unstuck in 5

13 12 2012

Guest Post by Pam Smith

Everybody gets “stuck” once in a while.  Even those who coach others on a regular basis can get stuck.

In preparation to instruct a group of counselors on how to use coaching as a tool in their profession, I used the letters in the word “STUCK” to identify 5 steps to getting “unstuck” and then provided a number of good questions to use for each step.

Here are the 5 steps:

  • Set the Focus
  • Talk about Options
  • Unleash a Plan
  • Check for Obstacles
  • Know Commitments

Why 5-steps and not 3 or 4?  Well, just like when trying to pick something up with one-hand, the true strength comes in using all five fingers.

Bowling 2

Here’s another way to think about it: I read an article by a pretty good bowler. He had three 300 games, many over 290, and a high three-game series of 790.  He stated that a 5-step approach is used by most of the higher average bowlers.  Here a summary of what that 5-step process looks like:

The first step is the speed step that sets up the entire shot.  Step two is the push out where the bowling ball is set in motion from its starting position towards the lane where the bowler wants it to go.  In step three the ball is allowed to fall into a natural swing motion. Step four continues the motion by ending the back swing and starting the ball back towards the lane. The final step is the slide and the all-important follow through.

Here’s how the five-step “STUCK” process compares to the technique used by high-achieving bowlers:

  • Set the Focus (like in bowling, this establishes where you are starting and where you want to go)
  • Talk about Options (this is where you push out the ideas to begin forward motion)
  • Unleash a Plan (now you frame a plan that feels both natural and achievable)
  • Check for Obstacles (like in bowling here’s where you make any adjustment needed)
  • Know Commitments (here’s where the all-important follow-through takes place)

When you read the 5-step process for bowling did you find yourself visualizing a bowler going through the process?  Since it is more difficult to visualize the “STUCK” process, here’s a copy of the front and back of the laminated cards I provided to the counselors:

S.T.U.C.K Front

Card(STUCK)BACK

Next time you feel “STUCK”, give it a try.

Pam Smith and 9 Ways

Pam Smith - VP for Student Advancement, Biblical Seminary www.biblical.edu

Author of: Nine Ways Woman Sabotage Their Careers

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