Today’s post answers a question I am frequently asked: What are your favorite “Leading with Questions” books?
I have almost 50 “Question” type books in my book case and have gained wisdom from each! So coming up with a “Top 10″ list is a challenge – albeit a fun one! As you will see I had a hard time narrowing my list to just 10 books – so I cheated and added several “Honorable Mentions!”
Personal Note to all the authors: Each of you have contributed significantly, not only to my leadership, but the leadership of many! Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with all of us! You will be pleased to know that I have not only read your book – I have bought multiple copies to pass on to my associates and friends. Thank you for your friendship! May God’s hand of blessing be on each of you!
Enjoy:
What are one or two of your favorite “Leading with Questions” type books?
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My Top Ten Favorite “Leading with Questions” Quotes:
Personal Note: I love “Quotes!” When I tried to narrow a collection of over 90 “Leading with Questions” quotes down to my “Top Ten” I simply had a hard time eliminating some of my favorites, so I asked myself a question: “What should I do?” and quickly came up with a solution – I added four “Honorable Mentions!”
Honorable Mention:
Honorable Mention:
Honorable Mention:
Honorable Mention:
#10
#9
#8
#7
#6
#5
#4
#3
#2
#1
And of course my “Most Favorite – Leading with Questions” quote is the one included in the banner at the top by Peter Drucker! (so that would make 15 favorites)
What are one or two of your favorite “Leading with Questions” quotes?
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Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter 18 of Power Questions:
I’m at lunch with my client, Claire. She runs a division of a large, publicly held company. We arrive early, and the restaurant is nearly empty.
We meet two or three times a year, usually to debrief on the advisory work I’m doing for Claire’s organization. Our conversation begins with small talk. Then it shifts to a discussion about the initiatives I am helping to develop for her division.
By the time we are finishing the main course, we have exhausted the marketing discussion. This almost always happens. After all, who wants to talk about business for an entire meal?
The patrons are lined up at the door now, and the restaurant is nearly full.
There is silence as the waiter clears our plates. I look up at Claire. I decide to shift the conversation. “How are you doing?” I ask.
“Good, I’m good.” More silence. “It’s been pretty relentless.”
“Relentless?” (Sometimes, just echoing the last word of someone’s sentence will cause more to be revealed).
“There are my external commitments. You know, seeing key customers, meeting with suppliers, and so on. Then, all the day-to-day internal management I am involved in. it’s a 70-hour week that could become 100 if I let it.” She heaves a sigh.
I want to ask about the details of her work, to dissect her effectiveness with each constituency. The problem-solver in me is chomping at the bit.
Instead, I take a breath and pause.
“Claire, I’m curious…you’ve been in the divisional CEO role now for over a year. As you think about the job, what things do you wish you could spend more time on, and what activities do you wish you could do less of?”
She reflects for a minute. I can see her brain is suddenly churning.
“Hmm…that’s an interesting question.” Another pause.
“First of all, I wish I had more time to spend on coaching and mentoring the executives on my leadership team. I love doing it, and I’m good at it. And I know they can be much better than they are today. Second, we’ve got an ambitious strategy to develop lower-cost products for emerging markets. Yet, I’ve never even been to many of the countries we want to sell to.”
An hour later we are still sitting at the lunch table. The line at the Maitre D’s station is gone. The tables are mostly empty again.
I’ve learned more about Claire’s priorities than I thought possible. I know what frustrates her. I understand how she would like to refocus her time going forward.
A few months later, Claire completely reorganizes her office and creates a new position to provide additional support for her. When I see her next, I smell a new zest for her role, an enthusiasm that I haven’t seen since she was promoted.
I wanted to dissect the individual pieces of Claire’s role and suggest small improvements. That requires analysis. It’s when you pull something apart and assess the components one by one. “Improve your meeting management!” Or, “Delegate more effectively!” It would have helped. A little.
What Claire really needed was a completely fresh look at her role and her priorities. That requires synthesis. You look at the whole first. You also look at personal strengths and preferences. For that, I needed to ask a question that would push her to sit back and reflect on the totality of her job.
Would you like to know more about Power Questions? Here is a really well done video overview Power Questions by Andrew Sobel: Power Questions
Authors of Power Questions: Jerold Panas & Andrew Sobel
Jerold Panas is the world’s leading consultant in philanthropy and the CEO of Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners, the largest consulting firm in the world for advising nonprofit organizations on fundraising. He can be reached at Jerold Panas
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships. He can be reached at Andrew Sobel
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Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter 17 of Power Questions:
I am having lunch with Margaret.
I don’t usually take time for this sort of a luncheon date. But Margaret has been calling every month for the past year to arrange a time we can get together. She is Vice President of my bank, in charge of the Private Banking Division.
I think: who knows when I’m going to need some credit. Why not get together? I have never met her.
“Sure. You bet, let’s have lunch. It’s about time,” I tell her when she calls this last time. We meet at a special restaurant of her choosing. She is waiting at the table when I arrive. She stands up. Her handshake is firm and friendly. There’s a peck on the cheek.
Before the waiter comes for the order, Margaret talks about how long she has been at the bank. She tells me about her progression up the ladder to her present position. “I’ve worked very hard to get where I am.”
The waiter arrives with the clam chowder. While we are eating that, I hear about her wonderful two-week holiday in Hawaii. “We go there every year. We have a time-share on the Big Island. It’s glorious.”
(I wonder where this is going. There’s a wonderful scene in Scarface, when Al Pacino is relaxing in a huge bubble bath in his mansion. He looks around and asks, “Is this all there is?” I’m asking the same question.)
Between the soup and our Cobb Salad, Margaret tells me about her new grandchild. She digs into her purse and pulls out some photos for me to look at. There’s nothing as proud as a new grandmother.
(I am wondering if Margaret has any questions for me. Nothing so far.)
We finish with coffee.
She looks at her watch. As sudden as a sneeze, it’s obvious it is time to leave. “It is so special,” she says, “having this time with you. I’ve really looked forward to meeting you.”
Whoa— what’s happening here? It occurs to me that I learned a great deal about Margaret. She learns nothing about me. Nothing. She has no idea what motivates me or what makes me get up in the morning. She’s learned nothing about my business.
Just think about what she could discover with some simple, open-ended questions. For instance, “Tell me how you feel about our services?” Or, “Why did you decide to go into business for yourself?” Or, “You’re an important client of ours—how can we do a better job of meeting your needs?”
Most important: “Really? Can you tell me more?”
An amazing torrent of conversation and information flows when someone responds to a question of yours and you say, “Tell me more.” This simple phrase, in fact, can be used almost anytime to draw someone out. “Tell me more about that” is a powerful prompt you can use often. Daily, actually.
I left the restaurant, shaking my head.
Back at my office, a colleague asks me about my lunch. “Was it a good use of your time?”
“No!” I blurt out, before I could even think of a proper response.
“Why? What happened?” he asks. And as I think about the lunch, I realize my banker did not ask me anything that helps me clarify my thinking about my business or my career. Nor did she share with me, for example, how some of her other clients, in similar businesses, deal with my particular challenges. By failing to learn about my priorities, she gleaned no clue about how to serve me better or what other services I could benefit from.
My banker squandered a power-packed opportunity. She goes through business life’s revolving door on somebody else’s push. She could have ensured my continuing relationship with the bank. She could have won my enthusiastic business support wrapped in a perfect package with few strings remaining untied. She didn’t.
It’s not about you. If you do all the talking, you learn nothing about the person. If you do all the talking you’re in the spotlight. If you do all the talking, you don’t empower the other person.
Your job is not to listen to respond. Your job is to gain information and create a vibrant dialogue. That’s an important distinction. Tell me more is the magic key to open up the next layer of the other person’s thinking and experiences.
Would you like to know more about Power Questions? Here is a really well done video overview Power Questions by Andrew Sobel:
Authors of Power Questions: Jerold Panas & Andrew Sobel
Jerold Panas is the world’s leading consultant in philanthropy and the CEO of Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners, the largest consulting firm in the world for advising nonprofit organizations on fundraising. He can be reached at Jerold Panas
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships. He can be reached at Andrew Sobel
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Nine Ways Power Questions Help Us Build Better Business Relationships
Guest Post by: Andrew Sobel
Just a few years ago, globalization was in full swing, and the world seemed to be bursting with an infinite supply of business. All this bounty lulled us into taking our customers for granted—until the economy tanked and shattered the illusion of endless prosperity. Suddenly, the old-fashioned “trusted relationship” started to look good again.
In this post-Madoff era of unpredictability and suspicion, people are looking for deeper, more intimate, and more engaged relationships—the kind that reduce risk. This is true of customers but also vendors, employees, and other business partners. The days of getting in, making money, and moving on to the next guy are over. When times are tough and the future is uncertain, people want to put down roots and partner with people they truly like and trust.
Bottom line: In today’s markets, the most valuable commodity is the ability to connect with others and rapidly build trust. And that begins by asking the right questions. Asking questions and letting people come up with their own answers is far more effective than spouting facts or trying to talk someone into something. Telling creates resistance. Asking creates relationships.
Here are nine ways questions can transform professional and personal relationships:
1. Questions turn one-dimensional, arms-length business relationships into personal relationships that endure for years. When a relationship is all business and there is no real personal connection, it lacks heart and soul. And therefore you are a commodity—a kind of fungible expert-for-hire. A client—or your boss—can trade you out for a new model with no remorse or emotion. But when you’ve connected personally, the situation is transformed because clients stick with people they like. Bosses hold on to team members they feel passionately about. Your expertise and competence get you in the door, but it’s the personal connection that then builds deep loyalty.
2. They make the conversation about the other person—not about them. Most of us don’t care what other people think—we want to know first if they care about us. The need to be heard is one of the most powerful motivating forces in human nature. That’s why one important power question is, “What do you think?” Another is, “Can you tell me more?” When you make a conversation all about you, others may think you are clever, but you will not build their trust. You will not learn about them. You will squander the opportunity to build the foundations for a rich, long-term relationship.
3. They cut through the “blah, blah, blah” and create more authentic conversations. No doubt you can relate to this scenario. A person says, “I want to bounce something off you.” Then, he proceeds to spend ten minutes telling you every detail of a very convoluted situation he is enmeshed in. You do yourself and the other person a favor by getting him to focus on the true kernel of his issue. Simply ask: “What is your question?”
4. They help people clarify their thinking. Instead of saying, “We need to improve our customer service!” I suggest asking: “How would you assess our customer service levels today?” Or, “How is our service impacting our customer retention?” If someone at work says, “We need more innovation,” ask, “Can you say more about what you mean by ‘innovation’? How would we know if we had more of it?” Or if there is a call for more teamwork, ask, “What do you mean when you say ‘teamwork’?”
5. They help you zero in on what matters most to the other person. The next time you’re talking to someone and realize you’ve “lost” her, ask this question: “What is the most important thing we should be discussing today?” In business it’s critical to be seen as advancing the other person’s agenda of essential priorities and goals. When time is spent together on issues that are truly important to both parties, the relationship deepens and grows.
6. They help others tap into their essential passion for their work. One of the highest-impact power questions you can ask is, “Why do you do what you do?” You may have to ask it several times to get the other person to really open up about what motivates him or her. When they seriously consider and answer this question, the room will light up with passion. Dull meetings will transform into sessions that pop with energy and generate ideas that vault over bureaucratic hurdles and create real impact.
7. They inspire people to work at a higher level. The late Steve Jobs was notorious for pushing employees. He asked people constantly, “Is this the best you can do?” It’s a question that infused Apple’s corporate culture from the beginning. It’s one that, albeit indirectly, helped revolutionize the desktop computing, music, and cellular phone industries. And it’s one that you can use too—sparingly and carefully—when you need someone to stretch their limits and do their very best work.
8. They can save you from making a fool of yourself. Before responding to a request or answering someone’s question to you, it’s often wise to get more information about what the other person really wants. When a potential employer says, “Tell me about yourself,” you can bore them to tears by rambling on and on about your life—or you can respond by asking, “What would you like to know about me?” When a prospect asks, “Can you tell me about your firm?” the same dynamic applies. Most people go on and on about their company, but the client is usually interested in one particular aspect of your business. Ever seen someone answer the wrong question? It’s painful to watch. Asking a clarifying question can save you huge embarrassment.
9. They can salvage a disastrous conversation. My coauthor, Jerry Panas, recalls the time he asked a man for a million-dollar donation to his alma mater’s College of Engineering. Though he knew better, the author failed to gain rapport and explore the potential donor’s true motivations before jumping in with the big request. When the man rebuked Jerry for his presumptuousness, he realized he had made a serious error. He apologized, left the room, and 20 seconds later knocked on the door and asked the power question, “Do you mind if we start over?” Start over they did, and Panas ultimately discovered that the donor might indeed be interested in making a gift—but to the university’s theater program, not its engineering program!
Things like this happen all the time in business—and at home. Interactions get off on the wrong foot, and someone gets angry or offended or just shuts down. But people are forgiving. Asking, “Do you mind if we start over?” will disarm the other person and will ease the way to a new beginning.
One of the greatest benefits of becoming a master questioner is that it takes a lot of pressure off us. It’s a huge relief to know that you don’t have to be quick, clever, or witty—that you don’t have to have all the answers.
All business interactions are human interactions. Moreover, part of being human is acknowledging that you don’t know everything about everything—and that you certainly don’t know everything about the other person and his or her needs. Questions help you understand these things more deeply.
The right questions unleash a cascade of innermost feelings and vibrant conversations. They help you bypass what’s irrelevant and get straight to what’s truly meaningful. They make people like you, trust you, and want to work with you—and once you’ve achieved that, the battle is already won.
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships and the author of numerous books.
A client of mine recently told me about how he had dodged death twice. The story of the first time is especially hair-raising, but I must save it for another newsletter.
The second time this happened, it involved a seemingly innocuous growth on his arm. It looked like a mole, and he ignored it. He was so incredibily busy running his successful, global company that he hadn’t seen his doctor in several years. He felt fine, and was in peak health by almost any external measure.
His doctor looked at the large mole on his arm and told him to see a dermatologist immediately–the same day. It turned out to be a melanoma that was on the verge of invading his body–of metastasizing. It was, in short, about to kill him (metastasized melanomas are highly lethal, according to doctors).
Here’s the point: Your client relationship may seem healthy. Even radiant. But there may be something small bothering your client. It may be a benign issue–for now. But over time that concern may grow and even merge with other concerns. Your client’s dissatisfaction can grow larger than the sum of the individual concerns. In other words, without regular communication and a thorough, annual client relationship review process, you risk losing a client because you were unaware of their true feelings or perhaps dismissed them in your mind.
You think it’s a small, innocuous spot but it may grow into something more deadly. By the time you react to it, the relationship may be too ill to recover.
Here Are 10 Questions You Should Ask Each Of Your Clients, Every Year:
Could you share with me your overall assessment of our relationship? This is a general question that can help kick off the conversation in a non-threatenng way.
What have we done recently that you have found particularly valuable or useful? We often think we know what has “added value” to our clients. But often, they have experienced value from things we’ve done that we thought were minor or insignificant. You need to find out, so ask!
If you could change or improve one thing about our relationship, what would it be? If a client is not very forthcoming, this might spur an answer.
Are there any individuals in your organization with whom we should invest more time and build a better relationship with? This question is especially important if you work with larger businesses where you need to be developing multiple relationships.
Can you give me any suggestions for improving the amount, timing, or format of our communications to you and your organization? Ideally, you should co-create–that is, collaboratively define–the type of relationship management that suits the client. Now you may want to shift towards several “agenda setting” questions to better understand your clients upcoming issues and challenges. Note: These are questions for existing clients, not a prospect. Agenda zetting questions for a prospect will be a little different. These assume a personal familiarity.
What issues are coming up for you that we ought to be aware of or thinking about for you?
What are your plans for…? How are planning to deal with…? (tailor these to your client’s business and markets) Remember, you don’t just want to ask open-ended questions about your client’s “issues”–you want to consistently demonstrate that you understand your client’s business environment and the key trends that are affecting them.
What are your two or three most important goals for next year? (Or, even better: How will you be evaluated by your leadership next year? What metrics will be used?)
As you think about the future of your business, and your various strategies and initiatives, what are you most excited about? Most concerned about? I like this because it’s a “right-brained” power question. It will help you understand what your client is truly excited and passionate about in the business.
Is there anything we could improve upon or change that would make doing business with us easier?
“Ease of doing business” is an important and underrated concept, and you might close your conversation with this one. I’ve even said, to a busy top executives, “Is there anything else I can do to make life easier for you?”
There are a few other questions you might also ask, depending on the circumstances. For example, if this is a firm relationship and you have a designated relationship manager and team, you need to find out how the client feels about them.
Could you give me your assessment of our team? What have they done particularly well? Are there any areas for improvement or weakness I should be aware of?
Could you give me your assessment of our relationship manager/account executive? What are their strengths and weaknesses?
And also:
If you need something from our organization, do you always know who to go to?
What if the problem with the relationship is the relationship partner or account manager? This doesn’t happen every day, but I have witnessed this type of issue a number of times. An incompatible or poorly-performing team member is one thing; the wrong relationship manager is quite another.
Do clients know how to navigate your organization? Do they know exactly whom to turn to? The last question will help ferret that out, and what you learn may be very critical information.
Finally: once a year–probably in a separate conversation–you need to ask for a referral. “My business grows through word of mouth—can you think of anyone you know who would benefit from what I do?” If possible, try and ask for a SPECIFIC referral–e.g, “I’d really like to build a relationship with Bill Smith, who sits on the XYZ board with you…would you be willing to connect us?”
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships and the author of numerous books. He can be reached at www.andrewsobel.com
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Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter 16 of Power Questions:
My client’s stock price is languishing. It’s treading water, going nowhere.
Without a growing stock price, the options owned by senior management are worthless. It’s hard to hire new executives. They are, in the worst case, susceptible to a hostile raider.
They hire us to figure out why this is happening. To suggest remedial strategies.
We put our best team of analysts on the case. We even seek the collaboration of a brilliant finance professor at the London Business School.
We create a report that is leading edge. It incorporates the latest capital markets theories and analytical models. It has charts and graphs that would rival the battle plans for Normandy. 172 pages.
We are proud of the depth, thoroughness, and incisiveness of that interim document. It is incontrovertible. Unequivocal.
Our first meeting to present the preliminary recommendations, however, is little short of a disaster. We’re in a large meeting room at the company. I barely get started when the executives representing the retail business begin attacking every aspect of our analysis. They defend their turf like grizzled, street-smart junkyard dogs. Anticipating our conclusions, they have even hired their own economist to refute the assumptions in our analytical models. We are blindsided.
“Well,” the CEO sums up diplomatically, “it looks like we need to do a little more work on this to resolve our differences of opinion.”
We leave and the report is heavier going back than going in.
Back at our offices, we lick our wounds. My boss, James Kelly, is silent as we conduct a post mortem on the event. James founded our firm. He is brilliant, as thoughtful a problem-solver as I have ever met. A silent-running, deep brook of experience. We spend the first twenty minutes mostly criticizing the client for being so resistant to our well-researched conclusions. (It’s so obvious. Can’t they see?).
James, who says nothing so far, looks up at me and asks, “What have you learned?”
We all stare at each other, then look side to side. We avoid James’s gaze.
“Well,” I volunteer, “we should have spent more time with the retail executives.”
“Agreed,” says James. “And what else? What did you learn about influencing people?”
“It doesn’t just come down to the numbers. They have deeply-held beliefs about their business. They’re emotional about it. We have to work at different levels—rational, emotional—to win them over.”
James nods. “And don’t forget political. Rational, emotional, political. All three must be considered. And what did you learn about relationship management?”
“We focused way too much on Trevor, the CEO. We didn’t realize how much he defers to his executives. There’s more than one client here. We undervalued the need to build relationships with the other leaders in the organization.”
James nods again. “Good. Oh—last thing. What did you learn about preparing for client presentations?”
I smile sheepishly. James has a maxim. He’s repeated it many times to us: Always preview your conclusions with the client. Never walk into a room unless every client executive present is briefed on what you’re going to say. Always know where they stand beforehand.
“I know. Always review our findings beforehand. With everyone. Encourage them get their fingerprints on it.”
Three months later, Trevor retires. A new, young CEO is appointed by the board to take over this troubled company. Richard Early is a hotshot, a take-no-prisoners executive who had already turned around two other major companies.
I have a very brief meeting with him shortly after he arrives, and I share a copy of our analysis with him. All 172 pages!
A week later, his executive assistant calls me. “Mr. Early asks if you could please prepare an Executive Summary of your report.” I ask her what he’s looking for. “He wants something in between the one page of summary conclusions at the front and the 172 pages of analysis.” I look at the 172 pages sitting on my desk, and grimace. I roll up my sleeves. I have my work cut out for me.
For days, I struggle to summarize our analysis. I work like crazy. No sleep. I don’t want just a summary. I want a statement, a manifesto that is clear and bold and compelling.
I finally reduce 172 pages to five, and send them to the new CEO. They are four hard-hitting pages. They tell a story. It’s a convincing, lively tale.
But several weeks pass. I hear nothing. I give up hope of continuing our work with this client.
A month later, Richard Early calls me personally on the phone. “Thanks for the summary,” he says. “Now, I finally understand what you guys are saying. I really hadn’t seen it clearly before, based on the huge report you gave me. Now it’s apparent. It gives the answers we need. In fact, I circulated your summary to my board. I think it makes a compelling case. Can you come up next week? I’ve got time on Friday. I want to discuss some possible next steps.”
Elated, I run to James’s office and tell him the good news. The CEO called me! Jim nods approvingly.
“So, what did you learn from this?” he asks me again. Not a single word of congratulations. All he says is, What did you learn?
“You don’t communicate with CEOs with one hundred slides. They digest information in short, concentrated bites.”
“OK,” James says. “What else?” I keep thinking.
“Top executives are not interested in methodology,” I add.
“That’s right. They want to know if they can trust you. Can you do the job? Are you among the best at what you do? Will you always put their interests first? By the way,” he continues, “what would you say you have you learned about trust?”
“More analysis and expertise doesn’t build more trust,” I say. “We needed to invest in more face-time with this client. And with Richard Early, as soon as he started.” “Anything else?”
I keep thinking about the 172 pages I was so proud of. And the condensed five pages that sold the CEO on our work.
“Sometimes, less is more?” I’m reminded that Louie Armstrong said that it’s not the notes that make the music—it’s the space between the notes.
James answers me with a smile that slowly fills his face. I’m not sure which does more to make my day—the call from the new CEO, or James’s smile.
Would you like to know more about Power Questions? Here is a really well done video overview Power Questions by Andrew Sobel:
Authors of Power Questions:
Jerold Panas & Andrew Sobel
Jerold Panas is the world’s leading consultant in philanthropy and the CEO of Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners, the largest consulting firm in the world for advising nonprofit organizations on fundraising. He can be reached at http://www.jeroldpanas.com
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships. He can be reached at http://www.andrewsobel.com
Which of your friends would thank you for forwarding this post to them?
Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter 13 of Power Questions:
“I threw him out of my office.”
“What?”
I’m with Fred, the chief executive of the North American operations of a multinational corporation. Fred was formerly the chief information officer (CIO) of one of the world’s largest banks. He’s had hundreds of salespeople call on him over the years.
“You name the company,” he tells me, “Goldman Sachs, IBM, Accenture, McKinsey, EDS, and then every bucket shop between here and the West coast as well. They’ve all tried to sell me something.”
Fred is smart and tough, and doesn’t tolerate fools. But I have a hard time picturing him throwing someone out of his office.
“You literally kicked him out? You’re kidding?”
“I’m not kidding,” says Fred. “He asked the question.”
“Which one?”
“What keeps you up at night?”
He continues, shaking his head: “You see, it’s a terrible question. Overused. Clichéd. Stale. And worst of all, lazy. I hate lazy salespeople. At a certain point it seemed that every salesperson, banker, and consultant was asking that question. They were like lemmings. They’d come and call on me and invariably ask, ‘What keeps you up at night?’”
“They thought that by posing that question I would—as if by magic—immediately volunteer to tell them all about my toughest issues. Then, they could say, ‘Ah, we have a solution to fix that.’ I started escorting them from my office.”
“And it doesn’t work that way with you?” I sheepishly ask.
“No, it doesn’t. Nor with anyone else. Look, let’s get some more coffee and I’ll explain why. I’ll tell you what the really smart ones do that is effective.”
Fred’s executive assistant brings us two more fresh cups. We move from his desk to a small sitting area with a couch, a coffee table, and an easy chair. We settle in.
I can’t believe my good fortune. I’m like a fourteen year-old again, listening to my cigar-smoking, Cognac-sipping uncle Morton discuss his philosophy of good living. But now, I’m going to school with the world’s best instructor on how to have a great first meeting with an executive prospect.
Sir Isaac Newton, referring to his extraordinary scientific breakthroughs, said, “I stood on the shoulders of giants.” I feel like Fred is lifting me onto his back, and I’m definitely going along for the ride. Big time.
“Here’s why,” Fred explains, “‘What keeps you up at night?’ is a terrible question. First, it’s a shot in the dark. It doesn’t demonstrate to the other person that you’ve done your homework, researched the organization, and thought about the issues they face. It’s a question that requires zero preparation. That’s why it’s evidence of laziness.”
I’m scribbling furiously.
“Second, if someone doesn’t already know you pretty well, they are probably not going to tell you what is really on their mind. Teasing that out requires that you first build some trust and credibility. Come on! Think about it. Am I going to immediately share my innermost cares and concerns with some salesperson I’ve never met before? Are you kidding?
“Third—and this is especially true if you’re talking to a CEO or a really senior executive—this is a ‘problem question.’ At my level, I’m focused on growth and innovation, not operational problems. I have operating executives who are paid to worry about those problems. Ultimately, executives like me are paid for growth and innovation. ‘What keeps you up at night?’ doesn’t actually help you get at the most fruitful issues.”
“So, what do the smart ones ask?”
“You have to approach a meeting with me as a balancing act. You must prepare. Read my annual report. Search the web. Read my speeches. Watch the videos of me being interviewed. Review analysts’ reports. Learn about my priorities and strategies before you walk in the door.
“But then—and this is really important—when you sit down in front of my desk, don’t presume to know what my real issues are. Be confident, but be humble. Probe and possibly suggest, but don’t walk in here and tell me what I’m concerned about.”
“The great salespeople ask indirect questions that show they know their stuff. They say things like, ‘Fred, how are you reacting to the merger of two of your biggest competitors? Or, ‘I was intrigued by what you said at the investors conference in New York last month. How is your push into Asian markets going to impact your financial controls and risk management requirements?’
“The other day, someone had carefully read our proxy statement, and she asked me some very intelligent questions about our executive compensation plan. She wanted to know why we had made certain choices. It was an engaging discussion. She kept gently probing, asking questions. She learned a lot about what is on my mind and about my talent management and retention strategies. We were satisfied with our existing provider, and had no intention of giving her any business. But she was so artful—I believe her firm will get a project from us.
“In other words, ask me questions that implicitly show you are knowledgeable and experienced. Talk about your view of my competition, and how you think the industry is evolving. Get me involved in that dialogue. Then, I’ll start to open up. Once that happens, you can be a little more direct.
“You might even say, ‘Given all that we’ve discussed—x, y, and z—where do you wish you were making faster progress? Which of these issues are proving to be the toughest nut to crack?”
We wrap up, and I’m beaming. In one hour I’ve just had a semester’s course in advanced salesmanship.
Other Questions that are Clichés:
“What has surprised you?”
This is a question people love to ask someone who has taken on a new job or been through a significant new experience. But there’s no good answer that is honest and positive at the same time. If you’re surprised about something, it implies you were naïve and didn’t know what you were getting yourself into! If you say nothing has surprised you, then you risk coming across as complacent or insensitive. Barry Glassner, the President of Lewis and Clark College, put it this way in the Wall Street Journal:
“If I had a thousand dollars for every time I’ve been asked that question—What has surprised you?—in the seven months I’ve been in my new position as a college president, I could buy a well-equipped Lexus. It’s the ultimate ‘gotcha’ question…every answer is perilous.”
Here are the questions I prefer to ask instead: “What have you been focusing on most during your first six months on the job?” or “Have you developed a longer-term agenda yet for your role?”
“What question haven’t I asked?”
A well-known marketing expert calls this his “killer” question for wrapping up a sales call. This question-about-a-question is a patently obvious attempt to make your prospective customer a coach to you in your sales process rather than an adversary. It’s a somewhat manipulative, cutesy attempt to say, “We’re really on the same side of the table here…give me some advice to be a more effective salesperson!” Like “What keeps you up at night,” it’s also overused.
There are many more like this. They fall into the same category as the “get them saying ‘yes’ three times before you ask” approach that you should shun.
Here are the questions I prefer to ask instead: “Are there any issues we haven’t discussed that you think are relevant to this particular challenge?” or, “Is there anyone else you think I should I talk to in order to get additional perspective on this issue?”
Great Excerpt, so:
What questions are you going to quit using?
What other questions do think need to be buried?
Would you like to know more about Power Questions? Here is a really well done video overview Power Questions by Andrew Sobel:
Authors of Power Questions:
Jerold Panas & Andrew Sobel
Jerold Panas is the world’s leading consultant in philanthropy and the CEO of Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners, the largest consulting firm in the world for advising nonprofit organizations on fundraising. He can be reached at http://www.jeroldpanas.com
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships. He can be reached at http://www.andrewsobel.com
Which of your friends would thank you for forwarding this post to them?
Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter Five of Power Questions:
Years of helping to solve problems has taught me that when you listen effectively and empathetically, it shows you care. And until people believe you care, they won’t fully engage with you.
I am sitting with Rick Haber, who is CEO at Life Health. It’s a $2 billion health care corporation. This is our regular monthly coaching meeting.
Life Health is a large not-for-profit medical center. The only other hospital in the area is St. Frances. It is a much smaller hospital, located in the wealthiest area of the city.
“I’m making an intensive drive to take over St. Frances,” Haber tells me. “They have the largest cardiac program in the region and several dozen top heart specialists. I need to have them in my camp. It’s the one area where we have a void. I’ll take over the whole hospital if I need to.”
“I can see where you’re coming from, Rick,” I reply. “You’re an ambitious guy. Because of your drive and persistence, Life Health has become the market leader in this town. Can you remind me,” I ask him, “What is the mission of Life Health?”
“That’s easy. I talk to my staff about it all the time. ‘To offer the most effective program in vital health maintenance and illness prevention and to deliver the most caring and responsive treatments available at the lowest cost possible.’”
I pause and am silent. I let it sink in. I ask Rick, “How would this takeover further your mission statement? Your core purpose?”
“Well,” Rick begins. Then he pauses.
“Well, I just saw an opportunity that I could move in on. You know, I’m a pretty aggressive guy.” My ears perk up. Whenever I hear the word “just,” an alarm goes off. (I’m reminded that Harry Emerson Fosdick said that a person wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package.)
“Tell me, Rick, where in that Mission Statement does it indicate that hijacking the cardiac care of St. Frances Hospital is what your mission is all about? You’re going to kill them. They’ll end up getting dismantled when it’s over.”
“What are you saying?” he asks.
“I’m not saying, I’m asking” I tell him.
Then I stop talking. I am quiet. It is a World Series Silence—like what happens when the visiting team has scored eight runs in the first inning.
I say it again: “Rick, I’m asking what your mission is and how this idea will further it. Is it consistent with what you stand for?”
He doesn’t have to answer—I can see it in his face. Rick knows that taking over the cardiac program from St. Frances has nothing to do with meeting Life Health’s mission. He knows that even without the cardiac program, they’d still be the dominant force in the marketplace.”
“Rick,” I add, “we both know that bigger isn’t better—better is better.”
Mission is everything. It is your true North. When someone is making a big move—a significant decision—check to see if it is consistent with who they are. Ask: “How will this further your mission and goals?”
Great Excerpt, so:
What might you be planning to do that you need to ask, “How will this further our mission and goals?”
What might you be doing now that you need to ask, “How does this further our mission and goals?”
Who else should you ask, “How will this further your mission and goals?”
Would you like to know more about Power Questions? Here is a really well done video overview Power Questions by Andrew Sobel:
Authors of Power Questions:
Jerold Panas & Andrew Sobel
Jerold Panas is the world’s leading consultant in philanthropy and the CEO of Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners, the largest consulting firm in the world for advising nonprofit organizations on fundraising. He can be reached at http://www.jeroldpanas.com
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships. He can be reached at http://www.andrewsobel.com
Which of your friends would thank you for forwarding this post to them?
Excerpted with the permission of the authors from Chapter Two of Power Questions:
Even when I think about it today, it still makes me cringe. It was an embarrassing moment of youthful naïveté. I wanted to shine. But I fell flat on my face.
We’re meeting with a major telecommunications company that my consulting firm wants to do business with. I’m a newly promoted partner in the firm. I am eager—oh so eager—to make my mark by acquiring a major new client.
I’m determined to make this meeting a success. I arrive armed to the teeth. Masses of supporting evidence. We will establish ourselves as not just the best choice but the only consultant of choice for this company.
There are three of us and five of them. Several of their group are Vice Presidents with significant responsibilities. Not at the top, but senior enough. They invite us into a spacious conference room.
I bring thick binders for them. Hefty decks of PowerPoint sides. Plenty of in-depth documentation.
Then, the first question, the initial salvo. It’s a softball pitch. Hard to mess it up.
“Tell us a bit about yourselves.”
I want to leave no doubt in their mind we are uniquely qualified to help them. I tell them about the history of my firm, how it was formed by the merger of two other consulting firms. Having lived through it myself, I thought the story fascinating!
I describe our client base. I walk though some of our most important methodologies. I tell them about our joint-team approach to collaborating with clients. About how well we listen (I am too young to appreciate the irony of that claim).
I cannot bear to spare any of the essential facts. Facts that I know will impress them and make them quick to retain us. On the spot.
I am so focused on our qualifications, however, I pretty much forget the client on the other side of the table. I don’t realize how fast time flies when you’re talking.
After nearly 30 minutes, my colleagues and I finally stop our presentation. There is silence.
One of the Vice Presidents reaches for something in a pile of folders. Is it a copy of their strategic plan they want to share with us? An organization chart to illustrate who else we should speak to at the company?
No. She is grabbing her appointment book. “This has been very helpful, thank you. I really do have to run to another meeting now.”
It’s too late! We built little personal rapport. Actually none. We have achieved virtually no understanding of their goals, their issues, and their challenges. We lost our chance. Now we’re being escorted out.
Fast forward. It’s now a year later. I am on a very similar sales call with a senior partner, DeWitt. He is a veteran of hundreds of such meetings. A wise sage. And we are asked the same question: “Why don’t you start by telling us about your firm?”
DeWitt pauses thoughtfully. He looks up, and asks “What would you like to know about us?” He is silent.
(Often, we ask a question, and when there is even a small silence we ask it again in slightly different words. We can’t resist filling the silence. Not DeWitt—he is very comfortable with silence. He told me once, “Once you’ve made your pitch, or you ask a question, shut up!”).
The client suddenly gets more specific. “Well, we are of course broadly familiar with what you do. I’d like to understand in particular what your capabilities are in Asia, and also how you work together internally.” This leads to an interactive and engaged conversation.
“I’m curious, can you say more about ‘working together internally’” DeWitt asks. “What prompted you to raise that?” He asks some more thoughtful questions. He shares with them a few examples of recent client assignments. They are interesting stories that highlight how we helped similar clients.
Because of DeWitt’s questions, we learn about a bad experience they had with another consulting firm. That firm had advertised themselves as being global, but the parts did not work together well. We learn about their expansion plans for Asia. We find out why they are seeking outside help.
DeWitt does something else I’ve never forgotten. He praises me to the client. Me, not himself! Instead of talking about his 25 years of experience—about his commanding knowledge of the industry—he talks about how lucky he is to have me on the team. He says I’m one of their brightest young partners. One of their hardest working. Me!
The discussion is different and infinitely richer than the one I had the prior year with the telecommunications company. It is the beginning of a new relationship.
A week later they call DeWitt. They invite us back for more discussions. Then a proposal. DeWitt ends up working with them until he retires, eight years later. They are now my client. A client for life.
After that meeting, I was happy to carry DeWitt’s bag wherever we went.
When someone says, “Tell me about your company”, get them to be more specific. Ask, “What would you like to know about us?”
Similarly, if someone asks you, “Tell me about yourself?” ask them, “What would you like to know about me?”
Would you like to know more about Power Questions? Here is a really well done video overview Power Questions by Andrew Sobel:
Authors of Power Questions:
Jerold Panas & Andrew Sobel
Jerold Panas is the world’s leading consultant in philanthropy and the CEO of Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners, the largest consulting firm in the world for advising nonprofit organizations on fundraising. He can be reached at http://www.jeroldpanas.com
Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on building long-term client and other professional relationships. He can be reached at http://www.andrewsobel.com
Which of your friends would thank you for forwarding this post to them?
Client uses the “can’t” word (major red flag). Question:Can’t? (say no more…… wait, let silence do the heavy lifting) leadingwithquestions.com8 hours ago
