Share Questions – Not Content

17 06 2013

Excerpted with the permission of the author from Chapter Two of The Coach Model for Christian Leaders by Keith E. Webb

TheCoachModelForChristianLeadersbookcover

Note from Bob:  If you are a “Coach” or would like to be a “Coach” this is a “Must Have” book for your library.  Keith not only gives you a sound coaching process, with great coaching questions, he has filled his book with “Dialogue” examples that that will provide you with understanding of exactly how each question can be used!   Special thanks to Keith for graciously giving me permission to freely excerpt from his enlightening book!  Today’s excerpt is only the first of many more to come.

Share Questions, Not Content

leadingwithquestions 10My schools, university, and seminary have trained me to teach, propose ideas, and find solutions. All Content!  So when someone brings a problem to me, my first impulse is to share my ideas on how to solve it. I was trained to provide answers (Content), not to help people find their own solutions (Process).

Asking questions is an excellent method for helping the other person listen to the Holy Spirit. Questions naturally draw Content from the coachee. Questions cause the person to look within, look up, and look around for the answers.

The examples below illustrate different things that come up in conversations. The first sentence demonstrates how we might be tempted to share content, and the second sentence gives an example of a process question that’s directed towards drawing content from the other person.

Leading with Questions 7Re: Topic

Content Statement: Today we are going to work on your character.

Process Question: What result would you like from our conversation?

Re: Stories

Content Statement: Here’s how I handled that situation.

Process Question: How have you handled this type of situation in the past?

Re: Facts

Content Statement: There are three things you need to know about this.

Process Question: What is important for you to know about this?

man-listening-to-womanRe: Information

Content Statement: I can give you a good book on that topic.

Process Question: Where could you find the information you need?

Re: Ideas

Content Statement: How about a huge poster in the shape of a monkey?

Process Question: What ideas do you have?

Re: Suggestions

Content Statement: If I were you, I would sit him down and tell him everything.

Process Question: What options do you see?

Re: Insights

Content Statement: I think you are realizing that more self-discipline is needed here.

Process Question: What insights occur to you?

Ask right questionsRe: Action Steps

Content Statement: Here’s what I want you to do before next week.

Process Question: What will you do to move forward?

Re: Decisions

Content Statement: You should do that.

Process Question: What decisions do you need to make?

The power of coaching is in the Process. A coach empowers others by helping them to self-discover, gain clarity and awareness, as well as by drawing Content from them. A good coach helps draw out what the Holy Spirit has put in.

KeithWebb

Dr. Keith E. Webb is an engaging speaker, consultant and Professional Certified Coach. He is the president of Active Results LLC, a global consultancy and training organization. He is also the founder and CEO of Creative Results Management, which serves Christian non-profit organizations. As a speaker and workshop trainer, Keith is noted for his humor, interactivity, and practicality. For 20 years he lived in Japan, Indonesia, and Singapore, and now lives near Seattle. Other COACH Model™ products are available Here!

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10 Questions to Ask Your Dad (or Grandpa) on Father’s Day

13 06 2013

Dad&me-then-now

Dad and me in 1950 and 2005.  My Dad, Arnett Tiede, was the greatest influence on my life and was always my “Hero!” I asked him a lot of questions growing up and more as an adult.   He has been in heaven since May of 2009.  Since then I realized that there are even more questions that I wished I had asked!

June 14, 2013 is Father’s Day.  What are your plans for honoring your Dad?  Bet they are great!  Would you like to add horsepower to what you already have planned?    Would you like to find out somethings about your Dad that you don’t know?  Do you know how you can?  You are 100% right! – All you have to do is just ask him some questions!  

10Here are 10 Questions to ask your Dad (or Grandpa) on Father’s Day:  (You might even want to videotape your Dad as he answers)

1.  What are your favorite memories of times you spent with your Grandpa?

2. What was your grade school like?  What do you remember about your favorite teacher?

3.  Who was your best friend? And what did the two of you like to do?

4.  What kind of things did you do as a kid that got you into trouble at home or school?

5.  Growing up what did you want to be?

6.  Outside of the family, what was the very first job you had that you got paid for?

7.  How did you meet Mom? (Grandma) How did you ask her to marry you?

8.  What is the hardest thing that you ever had to do in your life?

9.  What is the greatest compliment that you have ever received?

10.  What is one thing you still want to do that you have never done?  (What is still on your “Bucket List?”)

Bonus Question:  If your Dad’s answer on any question leaves you wanting to know more, simple ask:  Dad can you please tell us more about that?

Bonus Question:  If your Dad (Grandpa) is a Follower of Jesus, ask:  Is there a story you can share about how you came to be a Follower of Jesus?

You can add to the list! In fact, would you please share your additional question(s) in the comment section below?  Thank you very much!

Borrowing from a Zig Zilgar saying: “If you ask your Dad these questions, you will be glad you did!  If you don’t ask your Dad these questions, you will wish you had!”  I am betting on you – that you will be glad you did!

You may enjoy reading the special gift I gave to my Dad on his 90th Birthday:  “50 Things I Learned from My Dad”   It is available for complimentary download at:  Leadership Development Resources from Bob Tiede

Enjoy your day with your Dad (Grandpa)!

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Who Needs A Coach?

10 06 2013

WNAC 1

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WNAC 9

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Vital Questions for Leaders

6 06 2013

Arnett Tiede & Bob Faulkner

Dedication:  Special note from Bob:  69 years ago today, on June 6, 1944 – D-Day – 160,000 Allied Forces landed along a 50-mile stretch of heavily-fortified French coastline to fight Nazi Germany on the beaches of Normandy, France.  Today’s post is dedicated to all those brave warriors, including my Dad, Arnett Tiede and my Father in law, Bob Faulkner.  We are eternally grateful for their service!

Guest Post by John (Barney) Barnes

George Patton

General George S. Patton gave us many maximums for leaders.  One that has often saved my bacon, “We must always know exactly what we know and what we do not know”, reminds us of the critical nature of vital information.  Knowing what you do not know is often more important than knowing what you know.  Patton was known for his quip, “how do you know that?” This is a profoundly simple and effective method for sorting out opinion from fact.

The La Drang Valley lies in western Vietnam on the Cambodian border.  It was here that the 450 men of the 1st Infantry Battalion, 7th Calvary, were inserted by helicopter on November 14, 1965.  Over the next three days the first major battle of the Vietnam War would unfold in a 54-hour shootout.

Lieutenant Colonel Hal Moore

This seminal event was later chronicled in the Hollywood movie, We Were Soldiers Once and Young, starring Mel Gibson playing the role of Lieutenant Colonel Hal Moore, the 1st Battalion Commander.

Hal Moore, like Patton, was a leader who led from the front.  His men well knew that his boots would be the “first boots on the field of battle and the last boots to leave”.  As the last helicopter lifted away the 1st Battalion found themselves surrounded and coming under heavy fire by over 2000 North Vietnamese Regulars.  In the ensuing fierce battle over 1000 North Vietnamese and 79 Americans would be killed in action.  Outnumbered over 4:1, this was a kill ratio of over 12:1!

Leaders in most any profession can glean numerous nuggets from a variety of leadership qualities of Hal Moore.  One that I have gleaned is the three questions that he often asked himself during this intense battle that included a bayonet charge led by LTC Moore.  These questions are:

(1) What is not going on that should be?

(2) What is going on that should not be?

(3) What can I do to influence the situation?

Such Situational Analysis orSA” must be a part of every leader’s tool box.  As a leader, it is imperative for you to be able to confidently answer question (3) regarding the enterprise you are leading and responsible for.  However, as the leader, you must first find the answers to questions (1) and (2).

The next time you are about to make a “command decision” or about to write a “game changing” new policy  ask yourself…“Have I determined the answer to question (1) and question (2)?”  Perhaps you need to lead a bayonet charge of your own with your current resources in order to neutralize the opposition and lead your team to victory.  Please, no bayonet charges until question (1) and (2) are answered.  A bayonet charge at the wrong time, I’m told, could ruin your whole day.

King_Solomon

Lastly, the leader must have trusted advisers who can assist them in answering all three questions.  King Solomon reminds us that “in an abundance of counselors there is victory”.

John Barnes

John (Barney) Barnes served over 24 years as a naval aviator including 507 combat missions with the elite Navy Seawolves in Vietnam.  He later served as a chief deputy sheriff and now shares his experiences in books, articles, and motivational speaking.   You can connect with Barnie on his website:  Born to be a Warrior

Special Note from Bob:  Barney thank you for you service to our country!  We are eternally grateful!

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Jill Geisler’s Top Ten Coaching Questions

3 06 2013

Excerpted from chapter 11 with the permission of the author & publisher of Work Happy – What Great Bosses Know by Jill Geisler

Work Happy

TwoPeopleTalking 3

Jill Geisler’s Top Ten Coaching Questions:

  1.  How can I help you?  It’s a friendly opening line- with a purpose.  It’s designed to get people to state their goal at the very start of the conversation.  Too often, people say, “Can I run something past you?” and launch a long story while you figure out where all this is going.  “How can I help you?” leads them to give you a headline in advance.  It can expedite the process.
  2. What’s the worst that could happen?  The question works when you are coaching people who lack self-confidence or are sensitive about risks.  Getting them to state their worst fears enables you to follow up with questions about how realistic their fears may be- like this:  “You said you’re worried that Sam might quit if you give him these new responsibilities but no raise.  What are you basing that on?  How bad would it be if it really happened?  What alternatives do you have?”  The “worst case” question can actually free people to talk about what they thought was unspeakable.
  3. Can you tell me more about how you know this?  I use this one when people seem convinced there’s only one reason something is the way it is.  It’s a great way to find out whether they are operating on faulty facts (rumors, assumptions, old information) or have put blinders on and aren’t looking for other possibilities.  It inevitably opens the door for more questions- and insights.
  4. What does this person do well?  This is a question I’ve learned to ask when bosses are describing a problematic employee.  After I’ve heard a litany of all the person’s weaknesses, I ask, “What does this person do well?”  It’s often an amazing game-changer, especially when the manager has avoided a difficult conversation for a long time, while collecting a list of grievances.  Asking this question helps me determine whether the boss (rightly or wrongly) has written off the employee as irredeemable- or wants to salvage the situation.
  5. Knowing what you know now, would you hire this person today?  This is definitely a close-ended question- designed to elicit a yes or no answer.  I ask it when managers are struggling with decisions about employees who are mediocre or have a jumble of strengths and weaknesses- but don’t approve, despite the boss’s best efforts.  The question, “Knowing what you know now, would you hire this person?” can lead to less emotional and more rational decision making.
  6. Who else has a stake in this?  Asking this question is a nonjudgmental way of reminding people that it’s not all about them.  It prods them to look in all directions around an issue to see how it affects others.  Identifying other stakeholders is one of the most important things a coach can do.  It can also lead to the next valuable question:
  7. Who could be your allies in this?  I’m a big believer in encouraging people not to go it alone.  Asking them to enlist allies challenges them to collaborate with others- who can both help them meet their goals and also hold them accountable.
  8. What happens if you do nothing?  This question can serve as a call to action- or inaction.  Their answer may describe how difficult things will be if they fail to act, and push them to finally do what they’ve been avoiding.  On the other hand, if they have overstated a problem or are worrying needlessly, their answer can lead them to recognize that the status quo may be just fine.
  9. So, what’s success going to look like?  Think back to our friend Jim in my coaching conversation.  This is a question I would ask him as we wrap up.  It’s an upbeat question, which sets a positive tone.  It’s also my last chance to hear him spell out his goal- which might have shifted a bit during the coaching, as is often the case.  We agree on what he plans to accomplish and how he will measure whether he’s achieved it.  It’s a push for specificity.
  10. What are your next steps?  This is a good closer.  It can turn goals into plans and plans into action.  It’s a check to see if the person I’m coaching is going to follow through.  If a solution is somewhat challenging or complex, it chunks it down into a series of smaller, defined actions.  It gives me one last opportunity to make sure the person I’ve coached is better off than when our conversation began!

Jill Geisler

Jill Geisler, as head of Poynter Institute Leadership and Management programs, guides managers from the novice to the veteran – toward success.  In Poynter-based seminars, offsite workshops and within organizations, she brings humor and humanity to her teaching and coaching.  She has conducted specialized training and coaching programs for scores of organizations in the U.S. and abroad and is in demand as a speaker on leadership issues, ethics, change management and the status of women in leadership.

You can find out more about Jill and her book at:  Work Happy – What Great Bosses Know.

Today’s post is the second excerpt from Jill’s book.  You will also want to check out the first excerpt: 
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6 Questions to Ask During Your Interview That Will Make an Employer Want to Hire You

30 05 2013

Guest Post by Kelly Gregorio

This post first appeared on Brazen Life, a career advice blog for young professionals.

interview questionsIt’s common advice among job seekers: when you’re interviewing, you need to interview the employer right back. After all, you’re the one who is potentially going to fill this position, so you need to know if it’s going to be a good fit, right?

Except that while salary ranges, benefits and schedule flexibility are important details you deserve answers to, hiring managers don’t appreciate questions like these until at least your second interview (or maybe even after they’ve made you an offer).

Here are six questions to ask at the end of your interview that will help you master the twisted tango of getting hired:

1. If I were to start tomorrow, what would be the top priority on my to-do list?

The answer to this question will give you more insight into the current state of the position, while the question shows that you’re invested and interested in learning how you can start things off with a bang. The added bonus lies in the Jedi mind trick: now you’ve already got your interviewer picturing you as the position holder.

2. What would you say are the top two personality traits someone needs to do this job well?

The answer to this will be very telling. “Creative” and “intuitive” can be translated to mean you will be on your own, while “patient” and “collaborative” could mean the opposite. Not only will this question allow you to feel out whether you’re going to be a good fit; it will also get your interviewer to look past the paper resume and see you as an individual.

3. What improvements or changes do you hope the new candidate will bring to this position?

This answer can shed light on what might have made the last person lose (or leave) the job, and it also tips you off on the path to success. Asking this shows an employer you are eager to be the best candidate to ever fill this position.

4. I know this company prides itself on X and Y, so what would you say is the most important aspect of your culture?

This type of question is sure to impress, as it shows that you’ve done your research on the company and gives you a chance to gain insight into what values are held to the highest ideal.

5. Do you like working here?

This question might take interviewers back a bit, but their answer will be telling. A good sign is a confident smile and an enthusiastic “yes” paired with an explanation as to why. If they shift in their seat, look away, cough and start with “Well…”, consider it a red flag.

Regardless of their answer, employers appreciate getting a chance to reflect on their own opinions, and this turns the interview process into more of a conversation.

6. Is there anything that stands out to you that makes you think I might not be the right fit for this job?

Yes, asking this question can be scary, but it can also be beneficial. Not only does it give you a chance to redeem any hesitations the employer might have about you; it also demonstrates that you can take constructive criticism and are eager to improve—valuable qualities in any candidate.

What other questions would you ask to wow an interviewer?

kellybiopicture

Kelly Gregorio writes about workplace trends and motivation while working at Advantage Capital Funds, a small business loan provider. You can read her daily blog at Kelly’s Blog.

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ASK: What Keeps You?

27 05 2013

LOVE EM or LOSE EM

Bob:  Have you ever had one of your most valuable staff walk in and give you their two-week notice?  How successful were you at getting them to reconsider and stay?  Is your experience that once they “give notice” it is almost impossible to retain them?  It could, in fact, be too late to ask, “What will it take to keep you?” So when should you ask that question?  Would the obvious answer be:  Before they even begin to consider leaving?   That is why I love this book and am so pleased that the authors, Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans have given me their permission to share excerpts from Chapter One of LOVE ‘EM or LOSE ‘EM.

CHAPTER ONE:  ASK:  What Keeps You?

Why do we ask great questions in exit interviews but neglect asking early enough to make a difference?

Leadingwithquestions 11

Have you ever asked your employees what keeps them at your company or what might entice them away?  If not, why not?

Ask – So You Don’t Have to Guess

When we suggest asking employees why they stay or what would keep them, we hear, “You’ve got to be kidding, “Isn’t that illegal?” or “What if they give me an answer I don’t want to hear?”  We dance around this core subject usually for one of three reasons:

  • Some manager fear putting people on the spot or putting ideas into their heads (as if they never thought about leaving on their own)
  • Some managers are afraid they will be unable to do anything anyway, so why ask?  They fear that the question will raise more dust than they can settle and may cause employees to expect answers and solutions that are out of the manger’s hands.
  • Some managers say they don’t have the time to have these critical one-on-one discussions with their talented people.  There is an urgency to produce, leaving little time to listen, let alone ask.  If you don’t have time for these discussions with the people who contribute to your success, where will you find the time to interview, select, orient and train their replacements?

The Dangers of Guessing

Leading with questions 8

What if you don’t ask?  What if you just keep trying to guess what Tara or Mike or Marilyn really want?  You will guess right sometimes.  The year-end bonus might please them all.  Money can inspire loyalty and commitment for the near term.  But if the key to retaining Tara is to give her a chance to learn something new, whereas Mike wants to telecommute, how could you ever guess that?  Ask – so you don’t have to guess.

Asking has positive side effects.  The person you ask will feel cared about, valued and important.  Many times that leads to stronger loyalty and commitment to you and the organization.  In other words, just asking the question is a retention strategy.

How to Ask

How and when do you bring up this topic?  How can you increase the odds of getting honest input from your employees?  There is not a single way or time to ask.  It could happen during a developmental or career discussion with your employees.  (You do hold those, don’t you?) Or you might schedule a meeting with your valued employees for the express prupose of finding out what will keep them.  One manager sent the following invitation to give his key people some time to think and to prepare for the conversation:

YOU ARE INVITED TO ATTEND

                The next step in your continued development.

                You make a difference and I value your contributions.

                Let’s discuss some things that are important to you and me:

                                What will keep you here?

                                What might entice you away?

                                What is most energizing about your work?

                                Are we fully utilizing your talents?

                                What is inhibiting your success?

                                What can I do differently to best assist you?

                Please schedule a meeting with me within the next two weeks to discuss this and anything

                else you’d like to talk about.

Regardless of when you start this dialogue, remember to set the context by telling your employees how critical they are to you and your team and how important it is to you that they stay.  Then find out what will keep them.  Listen carefully to their response.

He Dared To Ask

Leading with Questions 4

Charlie set up a meeting with his plant manager, Ken, for Monday morning.  After some brief conversation about the weekend activities, Charlie said, “Ken you are critical to me and to this organization.  I’m not sure I’ve told you that directly or often enough.  But you are.  I can’t imagine losing you.  So, I’d like to know what will keep you here.  And what might entice you away?”

Ken was a bit taken aback – but felt flattered.  He thought for a moment and then said, “you know, I aspire to move in the organization at some point, and I’d love to have some exposure to the senior team.  I’d like to see how they operate – and frankly I’d like them to get to know me too.”  Charlie responded, “I could take you with me to some senior staff meetings.  Would that be a start?”  Ken said, “that would be great.”

Charlie delivered on Ken’s request one week later.

They Asked

Thousands of manager have tried stay interviews, and many have sent us the results.  Here is a sampling:

  • “A 23-year veteran of our company had his resume’ updated and ready to distribute.  The ’ask’ conversation, along with my follow-through on his requests, saved this key employee for my team and the organization.”
  • “I switched the IT (information technology) component of one employee’s job to another employee, after discovering in ‘ask’ conversations with both that one disliked IT and the other wanted more of an IT role.”
  • “I noticed that one quality employee seemed stressed and was not performing well.  During the ‘ask’ conversation, she stated she was not interested in a promotion.  I moved her primary role to a lower-profile, less-stressful desk job.  She was thrilled and is now performing very well.”

What if these managers hadn’t asked?

BOTTOM LINE

Stop  guessing what will keep your stars home and happy. Gather your courage and conduct stay interview with the employees you want to keep.  Set aside time to start the dialogue. Don’t guess and don’t’ assume they all want the same thing (like pay or promotion).  Schedule another meeting if they need to think about it for a while.

This may be the most important strategy in this book.  Not only will asking make your talented people feel valued, but their answers will provide the information you need to customize strategies to keep each of them.

It doesn’t matter so much, where, when, or how you ask – just ASK!

Bob:  Buy LOVE ‘EM or LOSE ‘EM today!  You will be adding a valuable tool to your “Leading with Questions” toolbox filled with “26 Engagement Strategies for Busy Managers.”

Bev Kaye and Sharong Jordan Evans

Bev & Sharon each have their own independent companies that offer an array of specialized products and services.
Beverly Kaye founded Career Systems International more than three decades ago to offer innovative ways to help organizations solve their greatest talent challenges by engaging, developing and retaining their people.
Sharon Jordan-Evans, the founder of the Jordan-Evans Group, is a pioneer in the field of employee retention and engagement. She serves as a prominent speaker for numerous conferences and works with Fortune 500 companies such as American Express, Boeing, Disney, Lockheed, Cheesecake Factory, Monster, MTV, PBS, Sony, and Universal Studios. Sharon is a Professional Certified Coach, coaching the leaders companies can least afford to lose.
 
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